Juhi Pande
Juhi Pande

Tom Hanks should have spent the winter of 2010 by taking a knitting class. Or making snowmen. Or counting all his money. Again.

There was no need for him to go write and direct and act in Larry Crowne. Because that wasn’t productive. It didn’t help anyone.

Larry Crowne has a very simple story arc. As simple as Simon… who’s undergone lobotomy. There are no twists and turns and nothing will catch your attention (except Wilmer Valderrama, who has been obscenely under-utilized, but then again, I want him for President). Larry Crowne (Tom Hanks) is a good guy who lives a simple life and works in a department store. He loses his job because he doesn’t have a college degree to qualify him for a management position. So he applies to community college where he meets a gang (Yes, they said it themselves. Gang.) of scooter hipsters, who change his life (by changing his clothes. This is a chick flick gone all wrong.). He also meets a very desirable and disinterested but good-at-her-job teacher, Miss Tainot (Julia Roberts). And thus begins a very disconnected story of how not to edit a film and how to pay more attention to the script and make it more… watchable.

Larry Crowne
Larry Crowne

There were a lot of characters who could have been funnier, better, more wholesome but somehow that never happened. I kept waiting for something to resuscitate this film… and then after a while I wanted something to resuscitate me.

Larry falls for his teacher, but you have to guess this part because they forgot to film it. The teacher likes to drink a lot and get brain-freezes. She also has a porn surfing husband who used to be a writer but now he has a full time job as an annoyer. There are some other people in the film, but they were all dull so I don’t feel like writing about them. The movie followed so many cliché’s that it was almost exhausting to watch it. I kinda wanted to take some sugar intravenously during the intermission so I could atleast survive the rest of the 45 minutes, but then I figured I could put this time to good use and do my accounts mentally. I’m good for the month.

Though I must add the highlight of the film for me was when Bryan Cranston showed up on screen. I smiled so wide. I’m a huge Breaking Bad fan. But then he started to whine and spew some rubbish lines that I had to go back to my accounts.

I’d say skip the movie and spend some time watching paint dry. More fun.

Boring with a capital Z…zzzz

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