John Galliano (photo courtesy | NYMag)
John Galliano (photo courtesy | NYMag)

John Galliano the disgraced former designer for Dior has finally broken his silence on his firing from the fashion house in an exclusive interview with Vanity Fair.

In the interview he states, that it was his destructive alcohol and drug usage that led him down a self-destructive path. He says:

“I never drank in order to be creative, or to do the research.” “I didn’t need alcohol for any of that. At first alcohol was like a crutch outside of Dior. Then I would use it to crash after the collections. I’d take a couple of days to get over it, like everyone. But with more collections, the crash happened more often, and then I was a slave to it. Then the pills kicked in because I couldn’t sleep. Then the other pills kicked in because I couldn’t stop shaking. I would also have these huge bottles of liquor that people got for me. Towards the end, it was whatever I could get my hands on. Vodka, or vodka-and-tonic. Wine, in the belief it would help me sleep. Wrong. I did manage to stop the voices. I had all these voices in my head, asking so many questions, but I never for one second would admit I was an alcoholic. I thought I could control it.”

He further recounts his dark days: “Not having washed, I’d be covered in sores and humiliated,” he said of his deterioration. “I had the tremors. I wouldn’t sleep for five days. I would go to bookstores and get some self-help books, but I was in denial. I’d throw myself back into the gym. I’d be careful about what I ate. And, of course, the whole cycle would start again.”

He claims designing BFF Kate Moss‘ wedding dress was his “personal rehab” and that creating she dared him to “be him again.” His 6-week stint at Oscar de La Renta greatly helped him.

While Galliano’s anti-semitic statements were uncalled for, there’s no denying that he’s an incredibly talented designer and that his contribution to fashion is somewhat legendary. I do hope that he genuinely reforms his beliefs, atones for his sins, and makes his return to fashion.