Kim Kardashian
Kim Kardashian

Two words: Butt facial. So how does that make you feel? Squeamish? Yes, everyone I spoke to about it responded with identical expressions of horror and a unanimous “eeeeek!’. It was rather different in my situation. Lakmé Absolute Salon just launched Buttylicious – a butt facial to take you one step closer to the butt that’s breaking the internet worldwide. As soon as I heard about it, the Kim Kardashian super fan in me HAD to try it – and drumroll please, try it, I did! Ok, I’ll admit it, I was a bit nervous when I walked into their salon in Bandra but a Kardashian-like butt is something you don’t pass up on, right?

Source: Giphy.com
Source: Giphy.com

What can a girl expect during a bum facial? For someone whose never even had a normal facial before, I honestly had no clue. I thought they’d massage it with some kind of oil or lotion, exfoliate, and that would be it. I found out a little later that I’d thought wrong – so, so wrong!

Source: Giphy.com
Source: Giphy.com

So after all the butt jokes from Team MissMalini died down, I built up some confidence on the drive over, walked in and asked for a ‘buttylicious’. A knowing smile from the lady at the counter and less than 5 minutes of waiting later, they took me to a private booth with a foldout waxing table and some machines in the corner. Once I’d changed into a waxing gown and a pair of those disposable briefs you wear when you go to the spa, I lay down on the bed, back up and with a flick of the switch, the tube lights went off and a slightly questionable dull blue light filled the room – at this point I was all set to bolt out of there!

Source: Giphy.com
Source: Giphy.com

I didn’t, I stayed put as the expert lifted the gown and pulled in the sides of the brief (giving me a wedgie) and left my bare bum out. Exposed to the world. She started with a cleanser to prep and everything was going all hunky dory. Next came the machine (umm). Now here’s where all my worries came flooding back but she explained that it doesn’t hurt or anything, it was meant to polish the “area” and evenly remove any dead cells (huh!?). To be completely honest, this is the part that felt like there was a tiny vacuum cleaner sucking on the skin on my bum, one small area at a time – it didn’t hurt (thank the sweet lord). All through the process, she kept adjusting the wedgie-d bit which was a bit uncomfortable but it didn’t feel like this… (thank God, again!)

Source: Giphy.com
Source: Giphy.com

Once the “suckage” was done with, she went over the “area” with another machine, very unlike the previous vacuum (phew). A 10 minute mask and toner finished the process and as soon as she left the room for me to change, I ran up to the mirror to check out my Kimmy K butt. It didn’t look any different, but then, I touched it – It was baby soft you guys!!

Source: Giphy.com
Source: Giphy.com

So was I happy with the experience? Sure, it was different and the wedgies might give me nightmares for weeks but apart from that, I quite enjoyed it. Will I do it again? While you’re supposed to do it every so often to maintain the smoothness and all, I think I might hold off for a little while – they’ll be seeing my butt again in May, just before pool season starts.