@HuffingtonPost
@HuffingtonPost

I woke up to the news this morning about a massive computer hacking operation that appears to have completely screwed the reps of major Hollywood movie studio – Sony Pictures Entertainment. The hack actually happened back in November when Sony Pictures employees got into the office and discovered their corporate network had been hacked. Here’s what appeared on their computer screens:

Hacked by #GOP
Hacked by #GOP

So what did the hackers steal and reveal? Read it to believe it.

1. Pirates Of The Internet.

5 Sony movies (four unreleased) including Fury, Annie, Still Alice, Mr. Turner and To Write Love on Her Arms. Plus an early draft of the screenplay for the new Bond film Spectre. They’re calling it “license to spill” 😛

Quvenzhane Wallis in Annie
Quvenzhane Wallis in Annie

2. American Hustle.

Apparently Jennifer Lawrence & Amy Adams were paid Less than their male costars for the same film. Lawrence was paid 7% of the movie’s profit, while Bradley Cooper got paid 9% according to emails sent to Amy Pascal Co-Chairman of Sony Pictures Entertainment. In fact, Sony’s 17 biggest-earning executives are predominantly white men. #GoFigure.

Jennifer Lawrence
Jennifer Lawrence

3. She’s No Angel.

According to a series of emails between Pascal and movie producer Scott Rudin, Angelina Jolie is a “minimally talented spoiled brat”. Ouch! All this because Mrs Brad Pitt wanted celebrated director David Fincher to lead a Cleopatra movie she would star in, around the same time that Rudin planned to use the director for his own Steve Jobs biopic! (Excerpts of the email exchange below.)

Angelina Jolie
Angelina Jolie

Pascal, “She is upset about us giving [Fincher] Jobs. She wants to talk.”

Rudin, “She’ll survive it. I don’t want to waste my time on this. I’m not destroying my career over a minimally talented spoiled brat who thought nothing of shoving this off her plate for eighteen months so she could go direct a movie. I have no desire to be making a movie with her, or anybody, that she runs and that we don’t. She’s a camp event and a celebrity and that’s all and the last thing anybody needs is to make a giant bomb with her that any fool could see coming!”

Rudin, “YOU BETTER SHUT ANGIE DOWN BEFORE SHE MAKES IT VERY HARD FOR DAVID TO DO JOBS.”

4. Clooney’s Got The Blues.

Clooney was so upset about how poorly his film Monuments Men — which he produced, wrote, directed and starred in — did that he couldn’t sleep!

George Clooney
George Clooney

Clooney, “I need some protection from all the reviews. Let’s just make it a hit. I haven’t slept in 30 hours. And it’s 7 am.”
Pascal, ” … we will protect you by making money… that’s the best revenge.”
Clooney, “I adore you Amy, you are literally the only person running a studio that loves film. I fear I’ve let you all down. Not my intention. I apologize. I’ve just lost touch… Who knew? Sorry. I won’t do it again.”

5. Dumb & Dumber

Apparently Sony kept a list of its login details for social media and financial accounts in a directory literally titled “Password.” Um… Doh!

GOT
GOT

6. Excuse Me, Mr. President?

Sony execs shared an inappropriately racial joke about President Barack Obama over email. Amy Pascal was headed to a lunch, where the president would be and shot off this email to Rudin for suggestions of what to ask Obama. Sniggering that the fact that Obama probably prefers movies starring black actors. Eeps!

Barack Obama
Barack Obama

Rudin: “Would he like to finance some movies.”
Pascal: “I doubt it. Should I ask him if he liked DJANGO?”
Rudin: “12 YEARS [a Slave].”
Pascal: “Or the butler. Or think like a man?”
Rudin: “Ride-along. I bet he likes Kevin Hart.”

Both have since apologized. Rudin, “I made a series of remarks that were meant only to be funny, but in the cold light of day, they are in fact thoughtless and insensitive—and not funny at all.”

7. The Sh*t List.

There’s a whole document of negative employee feedback called “Sony_2012_Comments” filled with negative employee feedback.

Here is one:

There is a general “blah-ness” to the films we produce. Althought we manage to produce an innovative film once in awhile, Social Network, Moneyball, The Girl with the Dragon Tattoo, we continue to be saddled with the mundane, formulaic Adam Sandler films. Let’s raise the bar a little on the films we produce, and inspire employees that they are working on the next Social Network. That said, there’s a strange dichotomy of encouraging us to be fiscally responsible, but then upper management allows certain talent and filmmakers to bleed us dry with their outlandish requests for private jets, wardrobe and grooming stylists – and are surprised when they are asked to work more than 5 hours to promote their film.

Adam Sandler
Adam Sandler

8. What’s Your Point?

Gawker employee Sam Biddle hilariously pointed out that Sony employees are just terrible at power point! He says, “The following slides are taken from a 34 gigabyte leak of internal Sony Pictures data, thrust out onto the internet by maybe-North-Korean-who-knows hackers, and obtained by Gawker.”

#SonyHack
#SonyHack
#SonyHack
#SonyHack

9. Channing Tatum Types Like a 12-Year-Old.

I mean this is kinda awesome and hilarious at the same time. In a message between Pascal, a few Sony executives and his 22 Jump Street co-star Jonah Hill, Channing Tatum had THIS to say about 22 Jump Street‘s massive opening weekend that trumped Seth MacFarlane‘s Ted.

22 Jump Street
22 Jump Street

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10. That’s Not My Name.

And this one’s not cringeworthy just cool to know: celebrities really do use fake names when they check into hotels! Sarah Michelle Gellar goes by “Neely O’Hara”. Tobey Maguire checks into hotels as “Neil Deep,” and Tom Hanks uses two aliases: “Harry Lauder” and “Johnny Madrid”. Natalie Portman‘s is “Laura Brown” and  Jessica Alba‘s “Cash Money.” Well, they used to be anyway!

Tom Hanks
Tom Hanks

PS. (Am I the only one who thinks the #SonyHack series could make an epic movie along the lines of This Is The End?