So you know, this little show called Game Of Thrones had a season finale. Obviously it was no big deal, I mean who even watches this show right? Who the hell gets involved in Westerosi politics? Right guys? Guys? Okay this nonchalant approach not working because I CAN’T DEAL WITH THE ATROCITIES GEORGE RR MARTIN PUTS US THROUGH! Not only me, even Team MissMalini’s Pocket Stylist had to message me the entire time because that’s what this show does to us. Anyway, here are the 16 moments from the 5th season of Game Of Thrones that fu#ked our heads up!
1) Mance Rayder’s death
The first casualty of Melisandre‘s nonsense. Totally set the things in motion for this season.
2) Brienne telling Podrick about Renly’s kindness
Making us more sad about that terrifying shadow monster baby that killed Renly! Seriously, screw you Stannis and Melisandre.
3) Riot in Meereen
How to lose friends and alienate people, the Targaryen way!
4) Jon rebuffing Melisandre’s attempts to seduce him
You know nothing Jon Snow – has never sounded so ominous before.
5) Ser Barristan Selmy’s death
RIP the greatest fighter in Westeros.
6) Jorah’s grayscale
A new epidemic? Is that how everyone will die? Before the dragons or the White Walkers even start fighting? Sounds like something George RR Martin would do.
7) Sansa’s rape
……
8) Theon telling Sansa about Bran and Rickon being alive
The hope in her eyes broke my heart. Only because hope and GOT don’t really gel well together.
9) The Night’s King
Come at me, Crow.
10) Princess Shireen
:'(
11) ‘Too old’
Things I want to write about this man will scar people for life. Just that, never have I ever wanted to kill a person so much. Thanks for doing that, Arya.
12) Selyse hanging herself
If only you weren’t such a religious fanatic before your daughter was burnt alive, I’d feel really bad for you Selsye. If only.
13) Cersei’s walk of shame
Who knew we’d feel bad for Cersei eh?
14) Arya turning blind
CAN THE STARKS EVER BE HAPPY? EVER?
15) Myrcella’s death…?
Is she really dead? Is Jaime THAT bad when it comes to protecting his family?
16) Jon Snow
It wasn’t over, it still isn’t over. Jon Snow cannot die, whatever Kit Harington says, I refuse to believe it – NA NA NA NA!
Basically this –
