Disclaimer: This, in no way, is trying to generalize men or women. This is an one-off incident that happened to a one-off person. Let’s keep the brickbats back, shall we? Thanks 🙂
Now now, don’t get me wrong. If ever there is a discussion about online dating, I’m the first one to jump to its defense. I’ve heard one too many success stories of couples that started out virtually and I, too, have been on some amazing Tinder dates and met some incredible men through it.
Tinder can give you people you can do a lot of stuff with – conversations, hook-ups, rebound sex, drinking, dancing, park strolls… you get the drift, right? At different points in my life, I’ve used it for some or all of the aforementioned activities and then not used the app for months together. We are living in the digital age where even a date is one click swipe away – then why not make the most of it?
I downloaded Tinder all over again on a particularly bored weekend after months. What was I looking for? A drinking buddy! Yes, yes… I sound like a glorified ‘not here for hook ups’ bio, but stay with me, okay? I was very keen on finding someone new I can get shitfaced with when I wanted to. Turns out, it wasn’t easy.
Here are some lessons and tips:
1. Bad Tinder dates exist
Call me naive, but up until this point, I really believed ‘the bad Tinder date’ was a myth. I guess it’s like one of those things you only think happens to other people, just because it hasn’t happened to you yet.
2. Apparently, sex needs to be on the table…
… otherwise he feels like he’s wasting his time. Oh also, he thinks it’s okay to say he’s “ready to wait” if that was the “problem”. What a gentleman!
3. Boys still think girls don’t want to go dutch
I actually want to apologize to all men right now on behalf of some women. This is a fairly regular occurrence. All my guy friends who are active on the dating scene have always told me horror stories about women who don’t even offer to pay their share on dates. Ladies, not cool.
Coming back to my date – he thought he needed to appreciate me for 6 whole minutes because I pulled my card out to pay as soon as the bill came.
4. Alcohol is the best friend on a date…
… because it understands you more than your date does.
5. Apparently, sex is really important
I’m not a prude, but the right to say no should be a part of everyone’s life. Call me old-fashioned, but I could’ve enjoyed my 3rd drink better if we weren’t still talking about why I am not wanting to sleep with him. Sigh.
6. Tinder is like Orkut
This was bound to happen. All of us were on Orkut at some point in our lives (don’t lie!) and then we graduated to Facebook because Orkut became so popular that every Tom, Dick and Harry was on it. It wasn’t niche anymore, it wasn’t cool anymore – and let’s face it, it was borderline creepy.
Other suggestions: TrulyMadly & Hinge
7. You gotta plan your escape
I didn’t do this consciously, but nothing made me happier than the fact that I’d picked the place and the place was close to my house. Definitely made the escape much easier.
8. You’re “close-minded” if you’re not up for sex
What? I have been called a lot of things in my life, “close-minded” has never been one of them. Also, are people really getting laid on the first date? Seriously, is it happening? Please tell me in the comments!
9. Reality Vs Virtual Reality
Again, I learnt it the hard way, but people may appear different online and off it. Most of his jokes are not funny in real life and it’s hard to fake an emoji from across the table.
10. Some boys don’t believe in feminism
“I don’t know… seems a little convenient. That’s just my personal point of view”
“You’re not a feminazi, are you?”
“Not all men…”
11. Tinder isn’t built for you to find love. Or drinking buddies.
And what a tragedy that is!
11. Oh, sex
Sigh. Yes, he wasn’t giving up. Maybe the idea was to tire me into saying yes. Who knows?
12. But you gotta be positive
13. Because love makes the world go round!
Have a bad-date story? Tell me in the comments below! 🙂 I’ll love to know <3