When you spend all day, every day in one room with multiple women, something inevitable happens: all your walls come down, and you find yourself discussing things that probably shouldn’t be office conversation. Things like bad Tinder dates, sex, the guy you’ve just started exchanging flirty texts with – the list goes on. Of course, now that we have no filter, we sometimes forget to censor ourselves even when people walk into the office. So if you do happen to stroll by during lunch time, you’re likely to overhear an inappropriate conversation or two, like…
When the first hey is always the hardest…
“So do I send him hey with an exclamation mark? Or with a smiley face? Two ys? Nothing at all? Should I just stick to hello?!”
When you have to make tough decisions…
“Do you think I should break my ‘I’m-not-messaging-first-on-dating-apps’ clause for him?”
When life is sad…
“Isn’t it sad that I’m at work in boxers and I didn’t even have sex last night?”
When you’ve got real problems…
“Damn. I don’t think I know how to greet people anymore.”
When you really want to swipe right but shouldn’t…
“I once found my friend’s father on Tinder. But he’s hot, so it’s okay.”
When he’s just not a fan enough…
“I matched with a guy recently who said he’s a huge Potter fan.”
“That’s great!”
“Except then I realised he’d only ever watched the movies, so I unmatched.”
When this awkward thing happens…
“My designated sexter is sending me pictures of his office inauguration. Does he think we’re friends now or something?”
When you have burning questions…
“Why are handjobs still a thing?! No one likes giving them, no one likes receiving them. We should just call them off.”
When you can’t be sure how it works any more…
“So does sex still happen the same way these days?”
When you reach to this conclusion…
“That’s it, I quit men.”
What inappropriate things have you been discussing lately?