Not sure if it’s funny or sad when people who are obviously having sex don’t really have much knowledge about how it works! The first time I came to know about these confused souls is when I read the Ask The Sexpert column in Mid-day newspaper. And boy, did I have a good laugh! I couldn’t help but ask myself, ‘Are these people even for real?‘ But TBH, it also throws light on how sex education in India needs to be taken seriously. The stigma around talking about sex is real in India. Which is why it’s time we encourage people to have an open and healthy conversation about it. And if that wasn’t reason enough, I recently stumbled across Ask The Sexpert’s Twitter handle (LOL). After scrolling through, I knew I had to share some of the funniest and cringe-worthy ones with y’all. Brace yourselves, gaiz!
I am 22 year old woman married recently to 25 year old husband. I caught him cheating some months back with maid. I am pregnant now. I want to make sure that baby is mine only and not maid’s baby. Where can I get DNA test done?
— Ask The Sexpert (@sexpert_ask) January 27, 2019
Last night I was naked and I was playing poker with my wife. A poker chip accidentally fell into her vagina. Are there any chances of pregnancy?
— Ask The Sexpert (@sexpert_ask) January 24, 2019
Is it safe if penis is kept in vagina when sleeping?
— Ask The Sexpert (@sexpert_ask) January 22, 2019
I have heard that any kind of acidic substance can prevent pregnancy. Can I pour some drops of lemon or orange juice in my girlfriend’s vagina after the intercourse? Will it harm her?
— Ask The Sexpert (@sexpert_ask) January 21, 2019
I used to go for a morning jog but now due to my workload I sleep late and am unable to wake up on time. Is it okay if I masturbate every morning? Will it equal jogging?
— Ask The Sexpert (@sexpert_ask) January 18, 2019
I am a 36-year-old single man. 6 months ago I had sex with a housewife. Then I made as many as 220 strokes in 40 mins of our intercourse. Today I could only reach 180 in the same time. Please reply. I am worried
— Ask The Sexpert (@sexpert_ask) January 18, 2019
I have a small penis and I can’t seem to satisfy my girlfriend. My astrologer has advised me to pull it every day for 15 minutes while reciting a shloka. I have been doing this for a month but it hasn’t helped. What should I do?
— Ask The Sexpert (@sexpert_ask) January 15, 2019
After taking a bath I was drying my pubic hair with a hair drier. I liked the sensation of the warm air on my penis so I placed my glans on the mouth of the drier It got burnt and its hurting a lot. Its been a week but there is no relief. What do I do?
— Ask The Sexpert (@sexpert_ask) January 13, 2019
I am a 20 year old woman. Is there a chance of becoming pregnant after watching porn videos?
— Ask The Sexpert (@sexpert_ask) January 11, 2019
Two days ago, I had unprotected sex with my girlfriend. To prevent pregnancy, we bought an i-Pill. But in the heat of the moment I popped it instead of her. Can it cause any complications for me?
— Ask The Sexpert (@sexpert_ask) January 11, 2019
While some of these are extremely concerning, a lot of these made me go ROFL! Which of these cracked you up the most? Let us know in the comments below.
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