Seeing as we’re being all random today (er.. well actually its mostly me being random, I’m just taking you down with me!) I just had to tell you about this genius of a book my friend Ashwin Mushran (remember when he brilliantly blogged for me?) gave me a few days ago. (I love that he actually bought it for himself and a few pages in decided he just had to give it to me and buy another copy… Yay! thank you kindly @ashwinmushran you know me well!) I have only this to say:
If you are on Twitter, you will LOVE this book.
If you are not on Twitter but have read some of the world’s greatest books, you will LOVE this book.
If you are not on Twitter and have never read any of the world’s greatest books, I don’t think we can be friends.
Buy it, Buy it NOW!
P.S. Expect my next 100 or so tweets to be direct quotations from this über-brilliant #epicwin piece of brilliance by @AcimanandRensin! (and I don’t say that lightly.)
Quoted off the official Twitterature website: “Perhaps you once asked yourself, ‘What exactly is Hamlet trying to tell me? Why must he mince his words, muse in lyricism and, in short, whack about the shrub?’ No doubt such troubling questions would have been swiftly resolved were the Prince of Denmark a registered user on Twitter.com.”
This, in essence, is Twitterature.
Here you will find over sixty of the greatest works of western literature – from Beowulf to Bronte, from Kafka to Kerouac, and from Dostoevsky to Dickens– each distilled through the voice of Twitter to its purest, pithiest essence. Including a full glossary of online acronyms and Twitterary terms to aid the amateur, Twitterature provides everything you need to master the literature of the civilised world, while relieving you of the burdensome task of reading it.”
What’s the big deal you say? Well just because I knew you’d ask here are a few juicy samples, now you try pulling this off in 140 characters or less :)
P.S. Alexander & Emmett, can I put in a request for you to Twitterature-ize MY favorite book? Still Life With Woodpecker by Tom Robbins?
Mom says to stop wearing black.
I just killed my girlfriend’s dad. Does this mean I can’t hit that?
Ophelia just pulled a Virginia Woolf. Funeral is on the morrow.
Hello everyone from under the stairs! Aunt and Uncle threw me under here again. Gosh, life is so hard.
OMG I’m a WIZARD! And my parents are DEAD WIZARDS! Off to magic boarding school. PEACE BITCHES!
SNAPE KILLED DUMBLEDORE WTF WTF WTF WTF WTF? THIS IS LIKE THE BIGGEST CLIFFHANGER EVER!!!
I’m in trouble. I’m not sure what I did. This is the worst day ever. I need a drink. Not from an unmarked bottle, though, no more of that.
Sound has become distorted.
Puzzles, puzzles, puzzles all day long.
So you’re looking for something. Got a smokin’ hot French babe with you. Then it turns out what you’re looking for IS that babe. Yeah!
Oh fuck – the police think I killed him!!!