I finally had the chance to head to Goa and of course, loved it! Between the beautiful beaches and shining smiles of the locals how could your heart not just melt in the perfectly concentrated Goan sun? Maybe the mass amount of foreigners that swarm to the state wearing concoctions such as sparkly bikinis paired with Ugg boots and a scarf aren’t exactly what you had in mind for a relaxing holiday, but please don’t judge Goa for the embarrassing behavior of visitors. This Friday’s feature is dedicated to any of the lovely characters who made me laugh until I cried throughout the week: Five Things That People Find Perfectly Acceptable to Do on Vacation, but Really Are Not Advisable Any Other Week of the Year ….and in some cases EVER!
1. Ordering a Bloody Mary with your eggs for breakfast. (According to my calculations, they are completely acceptable on all other Sundays as well. We all need to get our vegetables somehow!)
2. Living by the motto “I will never see these people again, so who cares?!” Being from Las Vegas, I can assure you what happens there doesn’t stay there. Act at least a bit sane.
3. Soaking up the sun for days at a time until you are the same color as the lobster sitting on your dinner table. Leathery-faced lobster isn’t a good look on anyone no matter if it’s holiday or not.
4. Wearing a bikini if you are over 80. I’ve rounded WAY up just to assure I do not offend anyone, but a good rule of thumb to live by is if any child refers to you as their Great-Great Grandma you should probably avoid two-piece swimwear. This especially applies to anything bedazzled.
5. Speedos. I believe this should be applicable to all ages, but some disagree. For now my only request is that until Victoria Secret expands their Miracle Bra line to banana hammocks, older gentlemen stick to the basic swim trunks. Saggy bums and so forth make me queasy.
P.S. If you missed it, check out MissMalini’s Speedo Man sighting!