Golden Kela Awards
Golden Kela Awards

Of course, you’ve read my views on the shortcomings of Bollywood award shows. It’s an interesting phenomenon and widely discussed. We’ve gladly taken matters in our own hands and decided to celebrate the best of Hindi cinema with the Twi Fi Awards. But let’s admit, criticism comes to us with more ease than appreciation. And so, Random magazine has continued its tradition of celebrating the worst in Hindi cinema with the release of the third edition of its Golden Kela Awards. While the nominees were decided on by a jury, the votes were cast online by 7,35,697 cine-goers.

3rd Golden Kela Awards winners
3rd Golden Kela Awards winners

I, especially love the idea behind the ‘Worst Casting Ever’ award: Because some roles, like text messages sent while drinking, are horrible decisions and should be apologized for the morning after. (Their words, not mine :P) A special announcement explains why Akshay Kumar wasn’t nominated for any Golden Kelas: because the level of his ‘performances’ has fallen even below the standard of the Kelas. Our Sincere Apologies!! (Gotta give it to them for standing up against King Kumar or not.)

Golden Kela Awards Release
3rd Golden Kela Awards Release
The Ishqiya team collecting its Anti-Kela trophy
The Ishqiya team collecting its Anti-Kela trophy
Habib Faisal receiving his anti-kela trophy
Habib Faisal receiving his Anti-Kela trophy for writing Do Dooni Char
From an off-screen Osama to an on-screen one
From an off-screen Osama (Anant Singh) to an on-screen one (Pradhuman Singh)
Cyrus Broacha doing what he does best
Cyrus Broacha doing what he does best
Mayank Shekhar (Film Critic, National Cultural Editor, HT) at the Golden Kela Awards
Mayank Shekhar (Film Critic, National Cultural Editor, HT) at the Golden Kela Awards

Seems like a lot of fun, doesn’t it? For more info check out their website, goldenkela.com Their resemblance to the Razzies hasn’t been missed either. In the second edition, Hollywood legends Sylvester Stallone and Denise Richards were awarded the prestigious Baawra Ho Gaya Hai Ke (Have you gone Nuts) Award. In response, John Wilson, Founder/Head, RAZZberry of the Razzies, commented, “If our having given Sylvester Stallone 30 nominations and 10 statuettes in the course of our history, and having awarded Denise Richards a Worst Supporting Actress dis-honour for The World is Not Enough played a part in two of them sneaking off to India to continue their bad film-making careers, please accept our most sincere apologies. Our intentions were for Stallone and Richards to be punished – not Indian movie-goers!”

In case you missed the first 2 editions, I compiled a list of winners. I caught myself laughing a couple of times. Tell me if you do too.

What the winners have to say
What the winners have to say

The winners of the 2nd edition Golden Kela Awards were:

  • Harman Baweja (What’s Your Rashee) – Worst Actor Male
  • Kareena Kapoor (Kambakkht Ishq) – Worst Actor Female
  • Ranvir Shorey (Chandni Chowk to China) – Worst Supporting Actor Male
  • Deepika Padukone (for Meow Meow in Chandni Chowk to China) – Worst Supporting Actor Female
  • Kambakkht Ishq – Worst Film
  • Ashutosh Gowariker (What’s Your Rashee) – Worst Director
  • Jackky Bhagnani (Kal Kissne Dekha) – Worst Newcomer Male
  • Fox – When Did This Come Out Award
  • Dil Bole Hadippa (She’s the Man) – Most ‘Original’ Story
  • Sly Stallone and Denise Richards (Kambakkht Ishq) – Bawra Ho Gaya Hai Ke
  • Rani Mukerji and Shahid Kapoor (Dil Bole Hadippa)
  • Love mera hit hit (Billu) – Most Irritating Song
  • Love me love me (Wanted) – Most Atrocious Lyrics
  • Kabir Khan and Aditya Chopra (New York) – Lajja Award for Worst Treatment of a Serious Issue
  • Abhishek Bachchan (Dilli 6) – Dara Singh Award for Worst Accent
  • Taran Adarsh – Critics’ Award
  • Paa – Black Award for Emotional Blackmail
  • Chandni Chowk to China – Insensitivity Award

The winners of the first ever Golden Kela Awards were:

  • Worst Actor Male: Himesh Reshammiya for Karzzzzzzzz
  • Worst Actor Female: Priyanka Chopra for Dostana, Love Story 2050
  • Worst Film: Love Story 2050
  • Worst Director: Kunal Kohli for Thoda Life Thoda Magic
  • Worst Supporting Actor Male: Salman Khan for Hello
  • Worst Supporting Actor Female: Kangna Ranaut for Fashion
  • Worst Debutant Male: Harman Baweja
  • Worst Debutant Female: Anushka Sharma
  • Bawra Ho Gaya Hai Ke Award: Ram Gopal Varma for Everything He Did.
  • When Did This Come Out Award: Wafaa
  • Lajja Award for Worst Treatment of a Serious Issue Award: Deshdrohi
  • Insensitivity Award: Fashion
  • Exceptional Dialogue Delivery: Tusshar Kapoor
  • Dara Singh award for the worst accent: Katrina Kaif
  • Most Atrocious Lyrics: Anvita Dutt Guptani for Lucky Boy from Bachna Ae Haseeno
  • Most Original Story: Hari Puttar
  • Most Irritating Song of the Year: Tandoori Nights from Karzzzzzzzz

While reviewing these lists, I realized the number of bad films journalists have to sit through. Cheers to the world wide web for opening up a platform of this nature. May the best man win… and worst man slip on a banana peel?!