7 Things Girls Will NEVER Tell You!

Anjali Kirpalani

Anjali is the author of the chick lit novel Never say Never, here she spills the beans on the things girls will never tell you. So listen up!

Anjali Kirpalani
Anjali Kirpalani

It’s no big secret that Martians have never understood us creatures from Venus. It’s partly because of our need for keeping things mysterious and partly because you don’t read between the lines. So men, let me do you all a huge favour (you can thank me later) and reveal some of our secrets. Here’s a list of 7 things we’ll never tell you, no matter what.

How long it takes us to Parallel Park: Now I am in no way supporting the generalization that we suck as drivers, but let’s face it, parallel parking is every woman’s nightmare. Having missed half an hour of a movie once because I was struggling to squeeze my car between a Land Rover and an Innova, I know for sure that other women have shared this predicament. But we’d rather lose precious time than ask for your help and feed your already humongous ego!

What we really weigh  This is an obvious one. We’re in denial and won’t admit our actual weight to ourselves, much less to you. Also, consider this as an insider tip:  you men don’t have to waste your money on expensive dates and alcohol to get us naked. All you have to do is ask us to stand on your weighing scale and we’ll automatically shed all garments, because hello, clothes weigh like 2 whole kilos!

We stalk you on Facebook. We stalk you a lot…:
Guys will shamelessly ‘like’ every picture of a hot girl on Facebook. Women are more subtle. When we like someone, we play it cool (at least in the initial getting- to- know-each-other phase). We’ll never tell you that we watched all your pictures on Fb and know EXACTLY what you did last summer (and the summer before that) and what your ex looks like.

We stalk your ex.
We stalk her a lot…: We’re vain creatures. So when you tell us that we’re prettier than your ex, we need to see it to believe it. We also want to know if she’s still in touch with you and if you continue to ‘like’ her pictures, because that automatically translates as ‘I still wanna bang you’ (refer to point 3)

Your best friend is rather hot!
Just like many guys develop crushes on their best friend’s girlfriends, we’re likely to find your best friend attractive too. But, we know that’s dangerous territory, so we would never admit that to you. We know how insecure you can get when you (read your ego) get offended and we don’t want to mess up your bromance with your bestie.

We are not Au Naturel!
You think we look this good naturally?! No way! Looking good requires effort. You’ll never know the number of hours (and money) we have spent on micro-derm skin abrasions, straightening our hair and whitening our teeth to look the way we do. We are certainly not ‘born with it’; it’s definitely Maybelline!

We watch porn too:
We’re human and we have needs too! We’ll act disgusted when we find your porn stash on your computer but you should know that we indulge ourselves too. We can’t tell you because then we can’t pretend to be holier than thou and accuse you of being pigs!

‘Never say Never’ hitts stores on May 27th 2013. When she is not busy with her job as an anchor/producer with ET NOW, she spends her time reveling in her awesomeness.

Facebook Like! BookNeversayNever

Related Stories
COMMENTS
More Malini's World