The number one question I get after I tell everyone that I’m a Bollywood blogger – well, other than “what’s a blogger?” – is “Oooh, what’s that like?!” Most people seem to think it’s some ultra glam job where I do nothing but air kiss celebrities at events, while others think that I spend my entire workday watching movies. So since I’m one month away from completing two years at MissMalini (holy crap), I thought I’d share with you guys seven things I’ve learned as a Bollywood blogger. So now you know. 🙂
1. Every star has his/her own schedule
Let’s say you get an invitation for a certain event, and there’s an official start time written on it. The general rule of thumb would be to stick an hour onto that time – so if it says 7pm, it’ll probably start by 8pm – but this also depends on the star in question. If it’s a Shah Rukh Khan event, tack two hours onto that time because he rarely shows up earlier (it’s something that he’s aware of and has tried to change, but – as of yet – I don’t think the results have been that great). If it’s an Amitabh Bachchan event, you best arrive at the time stated, because he shows up everywhere five minutes earlier than he’s asked to. Even with knowing that most stars are perpetually late, though, I can’t resist showing up within 15 minutes of the stipulated time, because of FOMO (fear of missing out). In that case, you also learn to carry some form of entertainment with you everywhere, because you never know how long you’ll have to sit around waiting.
2. You can pre-judge a movie depending on when the screening is held
If a film releases on Friday, then Thursday is generally the accepted day for the press screening. However, there are exceptions, and these can sort of tell you what to expect from the film. If the press screening is held on a Wednesday, then chances are high that it’ll be a good film (Barfi, for example). If the makers/PR team are confident about their film and are expecting good reviews, they’d rather hold it a day earlier so the reviews can pour in and help the opening. If they know it’s crap prefer being cautious, the show will be held on Friday morning (I’m too kind to give examples in this case). And if there’s no press screening organised, then God help us all (the obvious exception being YRF movies, as they hold no press screenings on principle).
3. The smaller the star, the bigger the ego
I learned this one super quickly – I have had nothing but good experiences meeting folks like Shah Rukh Khan, Shahid Kapoor, Imran Khan, etc etc etc. On the other hand, smaller celebrities – and I’m talking minor page 3 folks here – have kept me waiting to do an interview, even when they had nothing going on, just to appear busy. I won’t mention who, ’cause – again – I’m nice like that. Well, except for Mallika Sherawat… but then again, she had it coming.
4. Not everything is PR-driven or paid for
Okay, so a chunk of it is. Most times, “leaks” are nothing but well-timed PR releases. It’s happened so much over time that we’ve all grown skeptical, and I think that’s why people become conditioned to blurt out “PAID!” whenever something complimentary is written about a star or film. But that’s not always the case. Not everything comes from a press release and money is not always exchanging hands. Sometimes – this revelation may shatter your world – people just genuinely like things. Who would’ve thunk?
5. Bollywood photographers can be your worst enemies.
I’m losing count of the number of fights I’ve had with Bollywood photographers, who consider it a sin of the highest order that I’m sitting in the front row of an event and am not there with the express purpose of taking photos. In the beginning, I patiently tried to explain to them that I showed up on time (see point #1) and therefore earned my front row seat, and anyway I need to take video on a mini HD camera so I need a clear view. After a while, though, I adopted a new method that consists of one or a combination of the following: stoically ignoring, yelling, smiling + nodding, pushing/shoving.
But this is really something you should ask our resident photographer, Khyati Gandhi. Oh, the tales she could tell…
6. Dress according to the event/celebrity.
And no, I’m absolutely not talking fashion-wise here. Somewhat the opposite, actually: if there’s a big celebrity, you are probably better off leaving your good stuff at home, because they are in daaanger. Between ruthless photographers and rabid fans (if it’s an open event), there’s a lot that can go wrong to your favourite things. Trust me, I’m speaking from experience – I’ve got a pair of sparkly bow heels that have never recovered from a Salman Khan-induced stampede.
7. Expect the unexpected.
Majorly cliche, I know, but also true. We’ve had celebrities: a) hijack our cameras, b) have long conversations with their star daughters in the middle of an interview, c) snap their fingers at us, and d) strip in front of us (Salman Khan, who else? During his Being Human photoshoot). So we’ve sort of come to understand that an interview or event can go off in any direction, and that’s actually a big part of the fun!