Bollywood Movie Review: 8 Cringeworthy Dialogues From Grand Masti

Rashmi Daryanani , 13 Sep 2013
Grand Masti
Grand Masti

Grand Masti pretty much follows the same tune of the original 2004 film: 3 friends, Meet, Prem, and Amar (Vivek Oberoi, Aftab Shivdasani, and Riteish Deshmukh) head out to find some “masti” since they’re frustrated with their boring lives and wives (Karishma Tanna, Manjari Fadnis, and Sonalee Kulkarni).

The gang decides to return to their college, SLUTS (Shri Lalchand University of Technology and Science), for a reunion, and end up running into three sexy, pornstar-esque ladies named Rose, Mary, and Marlow (Maryam Zakaria, Bruna Abdullah, and Kainaat Arora). Things threaten to go awry for the boys when the college principal Robert (Pradeep Rawat) insists on castrating any boy who looks at girls in a wrong manner.

Grand Masti is the kind of film that you can’t review properly, because how do you judge a film when it’s intentionally horrendous, outrageous, ridiculous, insert-adjective-here? The filmmakers clearly didn’t set out to make a good film; the intention was most likely going for a so-bad-it’s-good type. But was this good bad or just bad?

Grand Masti
Grand Masti

The reactions to Grand Masti will mostly fit into two neat categories: those who will catcall and snicker at every lewd joke (like the college boys I ended up watching the movie with this morning), and those who will not be so amused at the potentially offensive jokes about women.

I definitely do not fall into the first category, but I’m not going to use this space to explain why rape jokes are never funny (by the way… they’re NEVER FUNNY). Instead, I’ve selected 8 choice dialogues from the film so you can decide if it’s worth your time to go see it.

**Don’t read on if you’ve already decided to go…

Grand Masti
Grand Masti

1) [After pulling off the pants of a guy named Hardik] Isko kehta hai “naam bade, darshan chhote.”

2) “My darling Tulsi, you’re looking so juicy.”

3) “Dal pak gaya, tandoori ho gaya… par ab main tan se door nahin ho sakta.”

4) “Balatkar se yaad aaya, meri biwi kahaan hai?”

5) “Don’t horny me.” (Even Akshay Kumar cringed, I guarantee you.)

6) “Meri biwi BMW nikli. Meri Bewafa Wife.

7) “Main abhi badi ho chuki hoon! Mukjhe virgin pina colada nahin, cocktail chahiye.”

8) [Girl with large breasts talking about what she does for a living] “Mere do bade doodh ke factory hain.”

See also: Top 10 Cheesy Dialogues From ‘Once Upon A Time in Mumbai Dobaara’

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