Considering that we’ve grown up on some of the best romances that the country has to offer, it’s hard not to internalize a bit of the sap along the way. For many of us, Bollywood has been our first exposure to the concept of ‘love’ – in fact, you could even say that our films taught us how to love love. But the problem is, Bollywood has painted such a rosy picture of romance, that reality often pales in comparison. Here are 8 ways Bollywood may have ruined your love life (aka “Why I’m forever alone”).
Let’s face it. Bollywood – Shah Rukh Khan in particular, perhaps – has painted the image of the “perfect person” in your head. So you carry this “Exhibit A” around with you, and every person you meet is measured against the Raj/Simran benchmark. Since people tend to have more dimensions than a character in a three-hour long film, it’s not really a realistic standard (but oh, how I wish).
You move along life expecting that eventually, your Kuch Kuch Hota Hai gazebo moment will happen. But one day, when you’re standing alone in the rain with no Rahul in sight, it’ll hit you: your everyday life isn’t scripted by Karan Johar. And no one actually plays the air piano.
You’ve grown up hearing that “hasi toh phasi,” leading you to believe that if you get the girl/guy to laugh, you’ve gotten them hooked. But in reality, the funny girl/guy are often sent to languish in the friendzone, to be retrieved only for the occasional laugh.
Still, you may be thinking the friendzone is okay, because after all, pyar dosti hai… and ek ladka aur ek ladki kabhi dost nahin ho sakte. But unfortunately, while you’re languishing in unrequited love, your BFF will probably just end up driving into the sunset with someone else.
Probably the biggest disappointment of real life is that no one randomly breaks into song. No one will actually fly you to an exotic location to profess their love through music. No one will actually stand outside your window and serenade you. No one will weave your name into romantic lyrics (even if it’s the mildly creepy Tu hai meri Kiran). And – worst of all – you’ll never have your own troupe of back-up dancers.
The movies will tell you that rain = romance. This would be the perfect time to a) dance in the rain with your partner, b) cuddle under an umbrella, c) sing sweet songs to each other. In reality, though, this is how monsoons usually go: a) struggling to get a rickshaw, b) dealing with wet seats in trains, c) getting muck splashed all over you by passing vehicles.
Thanks to Bollywood, you’ve become conditioned to believe that it takes grand gestures to really prove your love – an airport chase sequence, for example. Unfortunately, should you ever decide to leave the country in a huff, your love interest will really not be able to get past security to reach to you. So maybe try not to expect too much of them. The love probably lies in the smaller details, anyway.
Most Bollywood movies end with the couple overcoming all hurdles to get married, but what about the obstacles after that? While it seems only fair that it should be smooth sailing after you’ve gone through all the trouble to get the guy/girl, “happily ever after” is permanently a work-in-progress.