Ditzy girl extraordinaire Kairavi Krishna (Kay), the protagonist of the upcoming rom-com ‘Done With Men’, has a long list of sucky boyfriends and an extraordinary talent for goof-ups. Just because she learnt it the hard way, doesn’t mean you should too! Shuchi Singh Kalra, the author of Done With Men warns you about the five things you should save yourself from while nursing a broken heart.
1. Get a tattoo
Whether you are freshly in love or freshly out of it, getting a tattoo to “express” your feelings can never be a good idea. You see, unlike relationships, tattoos are permanent. One day, when you are totally over your ex, that tattoo will stare you in the face and remind you of your miserable past. And laser removal is both painful and expensive—in case you were wondering.
2. Experiment with your sexuality
C’mon, we all go through that “all men are bastards/all women are bitches” phase and it is kinda normal to feel that someone from the same sex might be more worthy of our love. But actually pushing yourself to be gay when you really are straight (and vice versa) will only lead to long-term awkwardness. Give yourself a break and go swinging the way you are supposed to be swinging.
3. Hook up with the next available guy to make your ex jealous
I know, the twisted pleasure and all that, but think of all the shit it will get you into. What if you kiss and make up with the ex? And what if the temp falls in love with you (or worse, you fall in love with him)? You don’t want any more mess than you are already dealing with, huh?
4. Call a press conference
I am not one to dig up old skeletons but remember Vivek Oberoi? You probably won’t go to the lengths of addressing the media because they won’t be all that bothered with your sad saga but you will likely do the next best thing – call all your common friends and tell them what a jerk your ex is. You will justify your reasons for being the dumper or play the victim card if you have been the dumpee. Not classy either way.
5. OD on booze (and other substances)
Are you trying to fight the breakup blues by being perpetually intoxicated? Don’t get me wrong – I’m not trying to convert you into a teetotaler here. I’m just trying to say that if breakups make you susceptible to stupid behavior, alcohol only amplifies the level of that stupidity. Have you ever called up your ex at 3 am and blubbered stuff that you shouldn’t have? Yes? I thought as much. More vodka? Not.
So the bottom line is, breakups kill your common sense. If you are in that sorry space and not at your brightest best, take a cue from Kay’s mistakes and no matter how strong the temptation, don’t fall for the devil’s trap. She scored a pitiful 4 on 5 on this list – yes, there is only one thing she didn’t do. Guess which one and you could win a free copy of ‘Done With Men’ releasing as an ebook on Amazon this Valentine’s Day! Tweet your answer, add #DoneWithMen and #Indireads, and shoot across your answer. (Follow @Indireads so we can DM you on how to get the book!)