10 Things Gay Dudes Don't Wanna Hear!

Marv D'Souza , 12 Apr 2014
Queer As Folk: Brian Kinney played by Gale Harold
Queer As Folk: Brian Kinney played by Gale Harold

In a nation that is yet arguing about our stand on homosexuality and equal rights, the dialogue is now open to discussion. In a lighter perspective, I’ve listed a couple of things gay men are tired of hearing. This is a piece to address all the stereotypes and misconceptions towards gay men (for now!), or that misstep towards making a connection. Here are 10 things gay dudes don’t wanna here… EVER!

1. “Oh you’re dating someone? So are you the woman in the relationship?”
10 Things Gay Dudes Don't Wanna Hear!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don’t Wanna Hear!

By definition, in a gay relationship, a man dates a man or a boy. They are two guys dating each other. There isn’t really a gender code to follow.

2. Aww! I always wanted to have a gay friend!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don't Wanna Hear!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don’t Wanna Hear!

Your enthusiasm is surely endearing. I hope, you don’t see our orientation as a commodity. But don’t confuse ‘wanting’ to hang out with a gay guy with rocking an ‘it’ purse or carrying a Chihuahua!

3. “You might love this song, No? WTF! Don’t you guys love Mariah Carey?”
10 Things Gay Dudes Don't Wanna Hear!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don’t Wanna Hear!

Madonna, Mariah, Britney, Gaga and the lot are awesome! They have a strong gay fan following and are supremely active in their support for gay rights. It really helps the movement. But that doesn’t mean that WE lose our marbles the moment we hear their music!

4. When did you choose to be gay?”

The same day you chose to walk backwards. No? Neither did we!

5. “You don’t look gay?”
10 Things Gay Dudes Don't Wanna Hear!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don’t Wanna Hear!

What is “looking gay” even supposed to mean? Is there a gay uniform guide being passed around that we have failed to get our hands on? The clothes, we put on our back don’t define our sexuality!

6. You haven’t watched Broke Back Mountain?!! It’s a gay film!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don't Wanna Hear!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don’t Wanna Hear!

Just because a film is based on homosexuality, you can’t assume that we watched it.

7. I’m cool with it. There was a gay guy in my class.
10 Things Gay Dudes Don't Wanna Hear!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don’t Wanna Hear!

Sure there was one, as there was someone rich, humble, rude, funny, shy, sporty, nerdy,  tall, petite, and so on! And it’s worse if that’s your opening statement. At times, we understand that you are making an effort to show that you’re okay with interacting with folks of alternate sexuality. But hinting that you knew a gay guy in college and hence, you’re fine with gay guys, is a bit weird. We have our own personalities, as do you!

8. ‘Sup girlfriend?!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don't Wanna Hear!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don’t Wanna Hear!

Don’t take it for granted that just because a guy is gay, he wants to be a girl and by default, he is your girlfriend! Nope, all gay guys aren’t effeminate, they may not want to go shopping with you and NO, it’s not our duty to listen to ALL your problems. We do it because we like you and not because we have to.

9. You’re gay na! So you can definitely tell if someone is gay or not!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don't Wanna Hear!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don’t Wanna Hear!

Well, firstly, stop probing into the personal lives of others! Secondly, there isn’t a gay directory listing all gay guys. Gaydar? Despite of what you’ve heard, we don’t come equipped with a gay radar!

10. Do you know any hot women?
10 Things Gay Dudes Don't Wanna Hear!
10 Things Gay Dudes Don’t Wanna Hear!

We’re not your ticket to women! Polish your personality, do your homework and go impress them yourself!

So, the next time you meet a gay guy, just have a conversation with him as normally as you would, in general. Don’t go out of your way to show him that you’re okay. We get it. Don’t have anything to say, then don’t. I hope this piece helped in breaking some of the stereotypes. Let us know if you have an idea for a similar post and we’d get it together, just for you!

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