The 6 Types of Friends You Do NOT Need In Your Life.

Trishna Mathews , 27 Jun 2014

A big thank you to all MissMalini.com readers for all the love you shared for my blog post on 5 things I think women are doing wrong while looking for Mr. Right. I am attempting to tackle a more complicated topic this time! One that I am sure most of us are extremely touchy about, simply because it’s probably “the relationship” that defines our youth and for a lot of us ends up being more precious than our life partners or even family!

Frenemy
Frenemy

FRIENDS, our pillars of strength, our mirrors of truth, partners in crime, drinking mates in sorrow! Aahhhh FRIENDS, our existence would be pretty meaningless without them. But NOT all of them are good for us, and most of us manage to weed out those frenemies with time.

So I am counting down the 6 types of friends you DO NOT need!

1] The My Life Is One Big Pity Party Type

These are joy vampires; they will manage to suck out even a modicum of happiness because of their ‘my life sucks so much’ attitude. You inevitably find yourself pacifying them for yet another tragedy that has occurred in their lives, mostly self inflicted. Their parents refused to buy them the iPhone 5, their boss asked them to make one more presentation slide, how can the world be so cruel and inflict so much pain on them? Why God Why?!

2] The ‘everything must always be about me type’

You could be the one person in history who managed to convince Kim Jong – un to let North Korea join the rest of the world, it wouldn’t matter. Your achievements are pale in comparison to their life news. She finally managed to find that perfect nail paint shade that she had been looking for, for all of 3 days and she is sooooo happy she doesn’t know what do with herself. Or he figured how to do a summation on the excel sheet and suddenly he can’t believe how tech savvy and ‘with it’ he is! You will always play second fiddle to their monumental life achievements.

3] The ‘I know it all, so you must listen to me type’

They were born with Albert Einstein’s mind, Oprah’s heart and were given a master’s degree in psychology from the moment they arrived in this world by Harvard University! They know it all, and you MUST listen to them. Dare you make any life decision or even choice without consulting with them, you’ve had it! Your earth shattering mistake will be declared to the world and this humiliation will be followed by a million ‘I told you so’s’ and another million ‘ if only you listened to me’ which will be generously sprinkled with a couple more ‘ next time just do what I say’. I’d say to them, SPARE ME THE HORROR!

4] The ‘hey could you spot me this time type’

Those utterly humiliating 3 hour sessions with your chartered accountant in the month of March, where you are repeatedly asked but ‘why haven’t you saved anything in the last one year’ can be blamed on them. Your crisp 1000 rupee notes will magically convert into credit card receipts but their excuses will never cease to end. “My wallet is home”, “I’ve exceeded my credit card limit”, “I don’t remember my debit card pin”, “I got my cheque but I’ve not deposited it yet”, you have heard all of them!

There also exists a sub-type to this type, those special ones who wouldn’t even bother coming up with excuses, why bother when you could rush to the rest room when the bill comes? Or go out for a cigarette? Or go say hi to an acquaintance from 50 years ago or even better do not make eye contact with the waiter, the bill or your friends! Oooh my phone’s screen saver! Damn I never noticed it.

5] The ‘I’m the perfect child your parents wished they had’

Possibly the worst type of all, they manage the convert the two people who have no choice but to love you unconditionally into your worst enemy, and what’s worst is they do it on your home turf! Your brain would intentionally grow a tumor if once again you hear you mom say ‘if only, you could be more like him/her’. Damn you perfect poodles! Get away from me I say!

6] The ‘trouble findS me type’

The word “drama” was coined by a person who had this type as their best friend. They are never at fault, they do nothing wrong, how is it their fault if the bar was crowded and they banged into another person and spilled their drink? Me and apologize????? No way, they should have held their glass tighter, or sipped their drink quicker! These trouble magnets will ensure you’re always famous but for all the wrong reasons!

Do you have a few more types of friends you think you don’t need? Share your thoughts below; we would like to know what ticks you off!!!

Incidentally someone across the globe wrote an article on 6 friends you should hold on to
in case you were wondering :)

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