The 7 Types of Indian Guys You Meet on Tinder

Rashmi Daryanani , 25 Jul 2014
Unfortunately, Ryan Gosling isn't one of them (photo | troll.me)
Unfortunately, Ryan Gosling isn’t one of them (photo | troll.me)

If you’re single – and, well, even if you’re not – chances are you’ve at least heard of Tinder. If you haven’t, here’s a crash course: it’s a dating app wherein you’re presented with one person at a time, and you either swipe left (to reject them) or swipe right (to like them). If you’ve both liked each other, you’re matched, which means you now have the option of chatting with each other. There’s a lot more to it – you can specify the distance radius/age range of your potentials – but in essence it comes down to making a quick judgment on whether a person is worth pursuing or not.

Any dating platform can be hit or miss, especially in India – there are lots of creeps around – but Tinder can be surprisingly fun. At worst, it’s an ego boost (especially if you’re a girl), and at best it’s an opportunity to meet some genuinely fun, interesting people. And through that whole process, you come across a variety of characters. If you’re a girl in India looking for a guy on Tinder, chances are you’ve spotted at least some of these 7 types of men:

1. THE “GIRL, LOOK AT THAT BODY” GUY
Would you swipe right on this guy?
Would you swipe right on this guy?

It’s great that some guys take a keen interest in health and working out (that’s sexy!), but then there are those who treat their Tinder profile as a platform through which to display their various fitness achievements. You know what that kind of profile is like: photos of him mid-squat, lifting heavy weights, flexing his muscles, and then – of course – the requisite shirtless one.

Swipe: Right, if that’s something you dig. Otherwise, left – chances are the gym is his first love and you’re not going to come close.

2. The guy who was on Bigg Boss
Salman Khan
Salman Khan

Not taking names, but it has happened: there is an ex-Bigg Boss contestant – or two – floating around on Tinder. And no, it’s not some random dude with a fake profile picture: you can tell it’s legit because all your shared friends on Facebook are people you know are real life friends with him.

Swipe: Left as a general rule of thumb. Or right if you want to milk this for all its hilarity.

3. The guy with a group photo as his profile picture
Real talk
Real talk

Listen, I’ll be honest: Tinder is much easier for girls, since the likelihood of them being matched with a guy is quite high. What this means is that we have a lot more options – which is why it’s baffling when guys don’t make the effort to stand out. If your profile picture is you with a group of friends, chances are we’re not going to take the trouble to figure out which one you are. Same thing applies for the guy who has no profile picture (spoiler alert: you’re doing Tinder wrong) and the guy who has an actor’s pic as his main one (I wish you were Ranveer Singh, but you’re not, so bye).

Swipe: Left, because ain’t nobody got time for that. 

4. THE “OH SHIT, I KNOW HIM FROM TWITTER” GUY
Twitter
Twitter

Perhaps you don’t follow him, but you know you’ve come across his profile a bunch of times. Maybe he gets retweeted on your timeline a lot, or maybe you spent some time scrolling through his timeline because he had a hot DP. In any case, now you’re confused – is it okay to like his Tinder profile if you don’t follow him on Twitter? And if you’re matched, do you tell him you’ve seen him around or do you pretend like he’s a stranger? These are the dilemmas you have when you’re on too many social networks.

Swipe: Right, because chances are, if you’ve come across his profile, he’s at least somewhat interesting. And you probably have mutual friends, which could help.

5. The guy who’s doing Tinder right
Where have you been all my life?
Where have you been all my life?

On the other hand, there are some guys who do Tinder right and put some thought into their profiles. For example, the guy whose profile starts off with a nice, normal looking photo of himself, which ensures that you’re interested enough to check out the rest. And then it continues: picture of him with a baby (see, he’s sensitive), picture of him with his dog (aww – he’s an animal lover!), picture of him with his group of friends (by this point you know exactly which one he is and you can tell that he’s fun and social). To top it off, his bio is something simple and unassuming – no deep (read: pretentious) quotes or bragging.

Swipe: Right! And definitely make conversation.

6. The guy with the girlfriend/wife
Beyonce, Tindering before Tinder was a thing
Beyonce, Tindering before Tinder was a thing

You can’t seem to figure out why he’s on Tinder when his profile features a bunch of couple-y pictures with another lady. I mean, if you are gonna poke around Tinder even if you’re in a relationship, at least be a little subtle about it.

Swipe: Left. Unless you have a boyfriend yourself. In which case… no, wait, still left.

7. The guy whose rishta you got
What would mummyji say?
What would mummyji say?

At first glance, his profile photo looks familiar. Then it hits you: that photo is lying somewhere in a pile of biodatas that your parents have forced you to look at. You don’t actually need to check out the rest of this guy’s profile, because you already know waaay more about him than Tinder could tell you: his last name, his date of birth, his salary, his parents’ occupations, his education, and the fact that he’s clearly lying about his age on his Tinder profile.

Swipe: If you rejected him for marriage, there’s kind of no point in matching with him on Tinder. And if you are interested in him from his arranged marriage biodata, then you might as well do this the official, parent-approved way, no? Either way, swipe left.

What are the kinds of guys you’ve come across on Tinder?

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