Zeroed in on the guy, but still a hundred doubts exploding in your head? Read on to get some answers.
‘But…this other guy’ syndrome
You go to a store to pick up a dress, and the moment you decide on one you start to wonder why you did not buy the other dress. Don’t do that to the boy you have decided to marry! For starters, he is not a dress. Secondly, and more profoundly, no guy is perfect. And before you get all coy, no girl is perfect either! ( Though, of course, I am very close. *superior look*). The other guy might have a broader chest and 6 pack *deep, wistful sigh* but there will issues with him that do not exist with your current man. The guy with the by now famous broad chest and 6 pack might acutally be an alcoholic retard who chases everything in a skirt. Just saying. Remember… no one is perfect.
Mummy-in-law Syndrome
We have all, fortunately or unfortunately, grown up on a rich diet of Ekta Kapoor serials, and are now genetically programmed to shudder involuntarily at the mere mention of the (potential or otherwise) mother-in-law. Reality check. In real life (where the daughter-in-law does not wear a heavy kanjeewaram saree to boil milk in the kitchen at 6 o’clock in the morning), MILs are not the incarnate of devil. Your in-laws will probably never be your parents, but they will come a very close second in due course. Give them the due respect.
He-is-having-an-affair-with-his-phone syndrome
Honey, tough as it may be to face the truth, he probably is. But then again, you are probably having one with the mirror anyway… and another decade long one with Shah Rukh Khan that shows no of ebbing away anytime soon. And probably another one with Fawad Khan!
His-friends-are-more-important-to-him-so-I-will-sulk syndrome
Is he marrying his mates or you? If it is the latter, you have your answer. We all need to be with our friends, some more than others. Let him spend time with his friends and he will be back refreshed and happy. Also, have your own gang of friends!
He-has-changed syndrome
He used to buy you a big bouquet of roses on every date when you started going out and now *horror, horror* not even a rose on Rose Day. He used to talk to you on the phone for hours and now most calls are hurried 5 minute conversations to ask if you are doing okay. He used to tell you that he loves you a 100 times a day and now you are lucky if he says the magic words once in a day. Let’s get real. Rose Day is just a meaningless gimmick the flower industry came up with. Four hour phone conversations when you have had a long day at work and need to be back the next day don’t make sense. Loving you is so much a part of him that he does not need to express it all the time. Trust me on this. There is something wonderfully and magically beautiful about the comfort that comes from knowing that this one person will be yours forever. Revel in that love.
If all fails… just sit in a quiet room, close your eyes, and ask yourself if you truly love him. If you do, your heart will not miss a beat and you will have an answer even before you have finished your question. If you heart tells you that he is not the guy for you, do not despair about the time you have already invested in the relationship. Life is too short to be wasted on relationships that do not fulfill you and too long to not find the one meant for you.
About the author: Ruchita Misra was awarded the Awadh Samman for her bestselling debut novel ‘The (In)eligible Bachelors. Her second book, a romantic comedy titled I Do!Do I? was published by Harper Collins last month.