It has happened, ladies and gentlemen: Taylor Swift‘s new album – 1989 – is now out. Let’s just say, I’m having a moment. And by moment, I mean I’m crying into a little pink handkerchief because her lyrics are giving me the feels, you know what I’m saying? Judge me if you want, but Taylor Swift just knows how to put into words all the ridiculous, sad, sweet, sappy things we feel when we’re into someone. So much so that I’ve ended up inadvertently assigning a Taylor Swift song to every guy that’s come into my life (you really are judging me now, aren’t you?) so, you know, I consider myself something of an expert when it comes to that girl’s lyrics.
So, in honour of her new album’s release, here are the 10 types of boyfriends that every girl has had – as told through lyrics of 1989:
The One Who Was a Placeholder
But I’ve got a blank space baby
And I’ll write your name
– Blank Space
Taylor has clearly written Blank Space somewhat ironically; playing on the ‘image’ that people have of her being a girl who just goes through relationships. But many people have been in a position where they’re unsure whether they’re into a guy because, you know, they actually like him, or because (to put it brutally) there was no other real option around. So when she sings these lines, it resonates.
The One You Should Dump
I should just tell you to leave cause I
Know exactly where it leads but I
Watch us go round and round each time
You know he’s no good. You know you should leave him. Everyone tells you you should leave him. And you convince yourself every time that this is the last time. But then you start the entire process again. After all, “when we go crashing down, we come back every time. Cause we never go out of style.”
The One That Never Deserved You
People like you always want back the love they pushed aside
But people like me are gone forever
When you say goodbye
– All You Had To Do Was Stay
“All you had to stay,” Taylor chants throughout the entire song and you just want to yell, “I feel you, girlfriend!” each time, because literally all he had to do was stay and we would have had it allllll, rolling in the – no, wait, sorry. Wrong artiste.
The One With All The Potential
You were all that I wanted
But not like this
– All You Had To Do Was Stay
You know that guy? The one where everything about him is perfect except for… well, him? Seriously, he crosses off all the requirements on your checklist, except for the “don’t be an asshole” one. Which is, you know, an important one.
The One With All The Intensity
Life was never worse
But never better
You knew he was trouble when he walked in, but he calmed your fears “with a cheshire cat’s smile.” Now you’re lost in wonderland, and you’re “pretending it could last forever.”
The One With an Expiration Date
I can see the end as it begins
My one condition is
Say you’ll remember me
– Wildest Dreams
You know going into it that it’s not going to last (at least this time you’re not pretending), but you’ll do it anyway because #yolo.
The One You Want Back
I wish we could go back
And remember what we were fighting for
I wish you know that I miss too much to be mad anymore
– I Wish You Would
He “pushed all your buttons.” He gave you “everything and nothing.” But you’ll never forget him. Instead, you’ll write a song about him.
The One You Just Never Speak To Anymore
Band-aids don’t fix bullet holes
– Bad Blood
You’ve got problems, and they can’t be solved. After all, “these kind of wounds – they last and they last.”
The One You Finally Got Over
Rain came pouring down when I was drowning
That’s when I could finally breathe
And that morning, gone was any trace of you, I think I am finally clean
This relationship really took a number on you, but you’re finally over it. So even though he’s “still all over [you] like a wine-stained dress [you] can’t wear anymore” (ugh, can we just take a moment to appreciate this line?) you’re now completely done with him.
The One Who Showed You What Love Really Is
You keep his shirt
He keeps his word
– You Are In Love
And finally, the games are over. You got rid of the placeholder. You dumped the guy you should have. You let go of the one who didn’t deserve you, as well as the one with all the failed potential. You gave up on the intensity. You got over the one you wanted back. And now? “You are in love, true love. You can hear it in the silence. You can feel it on the way home. You can see it with the lights out.”
Have you listened to 1989? What are your thoughts? Do you need to borrow my pink handkerchief?