Weddings are fun and crazy, mostly crazy and less fun to be honest but it’s a nice experience nevertheless. I know I’m making it sound like I’m getting married but thankfully that’s not true (getting a man to marry me will be a bigger pain than planning my wedding, take my word for it). Anyway as I’m now stationed at Moradabad, Uttar Pradesh for my awesome cousin’s wedding, I decided to blog about the 10 token characters one always finds at weddings, especially here. Call it dedication, love for writing or the fact that I can’t really stand so many people at one time, read this list and laugh, love and live peacefully!
1) The bride and the groom
Of course you’ll find the bride and groom! Finding a wedding without either of them or both will be FAR more interesting though.
2) That uncle who likes his drinks far too much
He comes, he sits in his room with his stock of alcohol (because this wedding has none) and drinks…and drinks…and drinks…and then he dances…and dances…and dances.
3) The girls whose sole reason to attend the wedding is to dance
First I felt a little sad for them (because they were the only ones on the dance floor), then I realised that maybe they’re still in the ‘clubbing‘ phase. Or maybe they hope to snag an NRI while showing off their movies. Good plan I guess, but I can’t trust people who dance at weddings without drinking, it’s weird and a little sad. But mostly just sad I guess.
4) The cousins who like to do nothing but judge others
Now see, this is the kind of behaviour that is completely acceptable when there’s no alcohol at the wedding. These people sit and judge – they usually judge the dancing cousins but they aren’t limited to that.
5) The aunt who’s actually a distant relative but has made it her habit to stress about everything
She’s usually a little on the elderly side, is respected by everyone because she’s old and stresses about every little thing so much that some are scared for her health. This proves that there should be some alcohol at EVERY wedding, one brandy would sort her out.
6) The fussy aunt who is demanding her low fat, decaf, vanilla flavoured morning coffee sprinkled with unicorn droppings
Usually from a bigger city or a different country, this lady needs THAT coffee to stay up all night (Bihari weddings usually take place extremely late in the night). She often gets her way but very rarely does she get her sprinkle of unicorn droppings. This lady also gets the undivided attention of drunk uncle. It’s fun to watch.
7) The guys who for some reason are obsessed with finding a place to play cricket in
Irrespective of their age, the boys need to play. It’s a wedding guys, get that adrenaline rush from somewhere else.
8) The freeloaders (who might be relatives, friends, wedding crashers, or maybe aliens) who have just come to eat
Listen it’s food. Food is life. I love these freeloaders (I think I’m one of them).
9) The people who sadly think the wedding won’t happen without them
They just need to be gently informed that a bride, a groom, and a few witnesses are kind of enough for the wedding to be binding. Really. Say it gently though, these guys need a reason to throw a hissy fit.
10) The cool person who needs a reason to avoid social interactions and decides to blog about people instead of meeting them!
That will be me. Yes.
What do you think? How many of these token characters have you met?