The wonders of romance novels… they make you fall in love, they make you believe that true love exists and they also make you start expecting your partners to be the sex gods they actually aren’t. Okay I’m kidding, I know boyfriends and husbands are great but there are some novels where the men are SO good, you just can’t help but wonder if there is someone out there like that, waiting for you! On that note, here’s a list of 12 romance novels I’m sure your boyfriend doesn’t want you to read because they really can’t live up to the grand romance level 101 described in these books! If your guy can, then please marry him right away.
Fights off over-bearing relatives, gets Wickham to marry Lydia, and declares his love for Lizzy in most awkward yet adorable fashion ever – Mr. Fitzwilliam Darcy has made it extremely difficult for men to tell a girl they love her. Guys now have to be ‘bewitched body and soul‘ by their girls; otherwise it’s nothing.
More than anything, I love the fun banter the two of them have! Case in point:
“What the hell makes you smart?” I asked. “I wouldn’t go for coffee with you.” “Listen – I wouldn’t ask you.” “That,” she replied, “is what makes you stupid.”
Oliver Barrett IV and Jennifer Cavilleri made us believe that love can conquer all… except life threatening diseases. Men don’t (or shouldn’t) want their girlfriends to read this because Ollie (as he’s fondly called in the novel) severs all ties with his family (which means having no money) to marry the girl he loves. Expectations level: 1000000+.
Heathcliff is one of the first portrayal of an angry, brooding byronic hero all us girls secretly love. The love, passion and destruction he can create for his Cathy is something our nice, sweet and decent men can never think of doing. Hence, Wuthering Heights is a no-no for ladies who love their guys with a streak of wild. They’ll never be happy with someone less than this crazy monster then.
Yea, there won’t be another Augustus Waters and our guys know that too well.
Alright, forget Gus, no man can be Noah. Correction, no man be Noah who looks like RYAN FREAKING GOSLING!
Here’s him shirtless (not from The Notebook but what the hell!):
Love this book, love this movie, love Noah (Ryan), cannot love regular guys anymore. Cannot.
Leaving messages before your death to make sure your wife recovers from the trauma of losing you. I can’t… I just can’t.
Also, this one was Pocket Stylist‘s addition (also known as Anushka or Pocket Satan from Team MM) to my list. I still cannot.
Funny, sexy, witty and sometimes outright ridiculous! The chronicles of Caroline and the ‘wallbanger‘ Simon is a breezy read and one of Rashmi‘s (from Team MM) favourite books and for good reason. In case you’re wondering why you should read it and why your men won’t be too happy reading it, here’s an excerpt:
Could I spend a little more time trying to come up with a more clever name for Simon’s penis? Probably. It deserved it. Mammoth Male Member? No. Pulsating Pillar of Passion? No. Back Door Bandit? Hell no. Wang? Sounded like the noise those doorstopper things made when you flicked ‘em…
Another favourite of Rashmi’s, Anna finds true love in Paris, okay? Could there BE anything more romantic than that? Warning: This one might tempt you to leave everything and fly off to Europe right away and your guy wouldn’t want that, would he?
A historical romance, a willful girl, a heartless hero who turns out to be the best lover in the world. This romance is perfect.
I mean, duh.
Is a romance novel list even complete without a Danielle Steele novel? Is it?
If Swagata (from Team MM) thinks this book deserves to be in the list (she wrote this wonderful article on emotional vs. physical cheating), who are we to argue? It’s the first book of the trilogy too, so you know there’s much more love to come!
What do you think? Will your boyfriend be okay being compared to the wonderfully dishy men these books have shown us?