Once you realize he’s toxic, you watch a couple of tear-jerking Bollywood flicks, and then you finally learn to let him go. But like a radar, his ego perks up (and maybe something else too) and he wants you back. If he doesn’t want you back, he wants to just somehow mess with your happiness. Hopefully, you’re way past it by this point and can share the text with your girlfriends, maybe laugh it off! I mean, the randomness of it, you’ve got to laugh it off.
1) The Pretense Of Well-Wishing
I bumped into him at a mutual friend’s party and he didn’t have the balls to make conversation with me. When I left, he drunk texted me saying, ‘I heard you’re dating *insert name* … He’s a great guy and really funny.’
Hmm … Thanks?
2) The Guy That Keeps “Pushing” His Luck
This guy I used to hook up with, briefly, keeps sending me sexually provocative messages. I’ve stopped replying. I think it’s time I block his number.
3) The Ex With The Fond Memories
My ex texts me every now and then saying, ‘Remember when …’ and they’re usually very sexually suggestive memories.
Yes, I remember, but I’d like to forget, thank you!
4) The Snap Chat-er
He’s getting married and he recently sent me some very, very shady stuff on snap chat. It really makes me think about how easy it is to get away with cheating these days.
Oh, the dangerous times we live in.
5) This Melancholy Soliloquy
He cheated on me, borrowed money which he never returned, and never really gave me the closure of a goodbye. A whole year later I received the longest letter, if I can call it that. It was literally an autobiography of his life, a complaint, an apology, and a plea for forgiveness in one long thing.
Umm … okay …
6) The Outright Desperation
He kept calling and texting despite my non-responsiveness. It was super weird and super creepy. I still don’t know why though. I just know I was done.
7) The Blackmailer
“If you don’t patch-up with me right now, I will share the screenshots of our naughty Skype chats with your brother.”
This really happened to someone.
8) This Bipolar Human
My lying, cheating ex tried cheating on me with the girl he left me for and then tried to justify it by texting me things like ‘I don’t know why you have so much control over me.’
I guess I’m addictive like drugs, bebaayyy.