That Awkward First Date: When The Blind Date Went Wrong!

That Awkward First Date: When The Blind Date Went Wrong!

Marv D'Souza
Dates gone bad
Dates gone bad

You think the dating scene is a piece of cake? Well, think again! Sure, it’s all about roses and cute stuff but some folks just can’t handle their candy. I’ve been on a ton of dates gone wrong and have stories of a few more. Without naming names, here’s a series of a few disastrous dates! We’re kick starting this series with The Blind Date Gone Wrong.

Blind Dates Gone Wrong
Blind Dates Gone Wrong

The Fix Up!

Adam (name changed) waited for Aisha (name changed) at the bar. They had never met or even knew of the other’s existence till a common friend tried to connect them. They were both from the fashion industry and the ‘friend’ thought that was enough to set them up for a date. Wrong!

Bad match maker!
Bad match maker!

The Coy First Moments

They exchanged ‘hellos’, ordered their meals and then, it happened. Adam started staring at her with ‘love’ in his eyes and a creepy smile. The kind that made Aisha awkward. She was a chilled out girl and wasn’t into the idea of cliched romances. She was the real deal. But Adam made his moves by showering her with compliments, a little too much. From her hair to her bag. He commented on everything. “Thanks“, she said. “So what’s your usual week like?” She had to change the topic.

The creepy smile through the date... Ugh!
The creepy smile through the date… Ugh!
Oh jees! He's a creepy one
Oh jeez! He’s a creepy one

The flood gate’s now open.

He starts blabbering about his life in the most pompous way. The girl just couldn’t handle it. He realized that he’s boring her. That’s when he asked about her plans for the evening.

"Yeah, I'm that good. Now tell me about you!"
“Yeah, I’m that good. Now tell me about you!”

Oh nothing! Meeting a few friends for drinks later.” She told him it was BYOB (Bring Your Own Booze) and that should explain the bottle of vodka peeking out of her bag that he was creepily staring at.

Do you ever feel like you might have an alcohol problem?” He said it in a judgement tone.

Why do you say that?” She had no clue about the garbage he was about to spill. He pointed out that her Facebook and Instagram had images of her at parties with a drink in her hand, most of the time. He mentioned that he follows her on social media and her ‘drinking problem’ may be because of the company she keeps.

You wish you could tell him that people like him are the reason you drink.
You wish you could tell him that people like him are the reason you drink.

Game ON my friend!

Drinking problem? How so?” She was now curious to know this idiot’s logic.

Well firstly, you hang with all those pretty, party people but no work people.” He was talking about her friends who are event planners. The poor guy was clueless that these ‘party people’ were, in fact,  the country’s best event organizers and though it seemed they were jobless drunks at clubs; they actually were just incredibly smart. hardworking and creative blokes.

You do realize that they don’t drink that much. They just socialize ’cause that’s what they do for a living. They plan parties and it’s a legit industry.” She had to educate him. They ate their meal and then he started again.

This too shall pass.
This too shall pass.

He just doesn’t get it.

He went on to diss a few people in the industry. He talked poorly of a certain fashion writer, then moved on to a critically acclaimed designer and hinted that Aisha must choose her company more wisely.

He's really a loving guy. Really.
He’s really a loving guy. Really.

Aisha was so amused by the guy’s arrogance and ignorance to point fingers at folks who not only were her friends but also, one of the best and respected names in the industry. She said nothing, this was now entertaining her. #Nawt!

He's so annoying! Kill me now.
He’s so annoying! Kill me now.

Cut Too Close To The Bone

And then he went ahead and did it!

What do you see in her. Why is she in all your shoots? Most of them at least.” He was talking about her best friend who also was a model for most of Aisha’s fashion campaigns.

That’s it! “You called me an alcoholic, dissed the people I respect, work with and party with. You questioned my work and now you’ve b*thched out my best friend.” She prepared to shut him up.

Lay it on him!
Lay it on him!

But this happened.

The guy just likes to pick fights.
The guy just likes to pick fights.

Hell breaks loose

He gets up and starts yelling at the waiter for getting his order wrong, he walks to the manager and starts screaming abuses! This is when the girl starts texting her friend to pick her up.

Time to bail girl!
Time to bail girl!

She leaves her share of the bill on the table, apologizes to the waiter and heads out. Before she leaves, she looks at the table next to her and says to the old couple who witnessed everything in shock, “You try to swallow your pride and agree to go on a blind date and THIS happens!

I'm done!
I’m done!

This is a true story and we’ve lined up a truck load of awkward 1st dates! It’s sad that these people had such real dates but they’re hilarious to read. All experiences are listed under fake names to protect those featured in them and the events mentioned aren’t tampered with. Stay tuned for more Dates Gone Wrong. And if you have a story… tell us!