Hi friends, how are you guys? I know there is another day left for the weekend to arrive so take this list as something you know will happen to you, but just don’t want to admit. This is the weekend you break your resolution (of not having more than 2 drinks in a night); this is the weekend you realise you enjoy rum, vodka and sangrias far too much and you HAVE to consume them all at once; and yes, this is the weekend where you become an embarrassment to friends and family because of your pathetic capacity. That’s why here’s a list of the 10 basic things you will find impossible to do when you’re drunk. Why do you need to know this? Just because.
You will try… and try… and try… but you will not succeed. Alcohol (a lot of it) does quite a bit damage to one person, but the biggest damage is that it makes you feel like you have jelly instead of knees.
You can definitely dance when you’re drunk, the problem is that it doesn’t remain a normal dance after a while. This thing you do starts looking like you’re imitating a chimpanzee high on caffeine or a raccoon who accidentally drank all the Red Bull.
Of course you can text when high! Only it’s not usually in the language normal humans understand. Drunk texts are like codes; they need to be deciphered by the ones who know you far too well.
Yeah, you aren’t really the sharpest tool in the box.
In your head, you look perfect. Sadly, that’s ONLY in your head.
What is this clear liquid? Why does it feel so good after having this? Why don’t I have only this, without mixing it with that golden coloured liquid? Why?
“Nobody said it was easyyyyyy“- finally figured out what Chris Martin was singing about.
Usually starts with the latest ‘cool‘ chartbuster and ends with Altaf Raja classics. None of them sound like songs regardless of how hard you try to carry a tune.
On that note, where is Altaf these days?
Someone please find him; I miss my bae.
Too much effort required.
That’s my face even when I’m sober when it comes to understanding life… the world… the universe… Interstellar… maths… etc, etc.
But honestly, none of us regret forgetting these basic things in life when we’re ‘under the influence’ because…
Truer words were never spoken. Happy waiting-for-Friday-so-I-can-hit-the-bar everybody!