The overrated, overhyped and painful day is coming this weekend and if you’ve been feeling low about a lack of plans or a date this Valentine’s Day, we’ve got you covered. Here are 11 horrible Valentine’s day dates – told by the people who went through them! – that will put you off dating for a very, very long time. No, seriously, have a look!
1) This ‘fishy’ date
One time, my (so called) Valentine took me out to a restaurant where they served food HE was allergic to. After some shellfish which we didn’t know was a part of our dish… let’s just say the rest of our date ended in a hospital with sirens for music! Not fun!
2) This ‘bad boy’
My worst date was years and years ago at a club called Insomnia. I went out with a guy who disappeared halfway-through, leaving me alone on the dance floor… only to reappear with lipstick on his face and this pathetic excuse: “Sorry, I can’t help it, I’m a bad boy.” I ditched “bad boy” right there and got a ride home with a female friend I had just met. She eventually went on to become my BFF so I guess it wasn’t a total loss!
3) This sober soldier
He told me that he wanted to hang out with me sober and that it would be weird, but kind of cool. This was the first time we met and had a drink or two. He said that it meant something if he wanted to hang out with me sober.
4) This Bollywood Connoisseur
A random acquaintance of mine left me in shock by calling me sharp at 12 on Valentines day. What’s more, he started singing as soon as I answered the call. He tried to woo me with shady Bollywood dialogues and being the gullible little thing that I am, I decided to give him a chance. He came to pick me up the next morning and I soon realized that he had two tickets to a sleazy adult film. What a unique V day plan! Of course, I asked him to take a U turn and drop me back home. I spent the day watching Sex And The City episodes with a bucket of ice cream.
5) This person who shouldn’t be allowed in public
Back in school I was ‘dating’ (or whatever it was called when we were kids) this boy, and he hated brushing his teeth everyday. The reason? Apparently, he couldn’t study if he brushed his teeth. So that year we had exams on Valentine’s Day and because his studying and brushing had a correlation, I had to sit through a date where I knew he hadn’t brushed his teeth.
6) This dating enthusiast
This guy I started dating sometime ago made our first ‘official’ date a really big deal (maybe because it fell on Valentine’s Day). Now I’m quite fuss-free like that so I told him to calm down but he still went on about how great and fancy our first date should be, so I went along with it. Except… he took me to McDonald’s.
7) This sensitive soul
We had gone out for dinner, and I was just very curious about his ex. So I insisted he tell me about her. He started talking and then he started showing me her FB profile. It was just fine till then, but my “great” luck had to step in and some random sad song started playing in the background which I had never heard before. And the next thing I know he’s crying because it was THEIR song. And I just sat there watching him cry.
8) The mother-lover
This guy I went on a date with (after a bad break-up) seemed sweet till he got a call from his mum. He then proceeded to talk like a kid on the phone (he was 26) and fake cried when she said that she and his father were planning to go to Lonavala for the Valentine’s Day weekend. Awkward.
Reminded me of this song:
9) Another sensitive soul
This guy kept making contact with me on social media – Facebook, Twitter, Instagram etc. – for dating purposes. After a few weeks of careful deliberation, I gave in. Everything seemed pretty much normal… until the guy made a move to kiss me, but started crying!
Okay seriously, what’s with these crying men? Why don’t they cry at normal times?
10) The one she could never have…
This one time, I went on a date with this guy who happened to be nothing less that the man of my dreams. It seemed like a perfectly staged date until I happened to spot him in conversation with another man outside the restroom. At first, it looked like the other man was a dear friend he happened to meet at our oh-so romantic date place. But then… he pecked the man of my dreams on his lips. Umm, yes, I almost fell head over heels for a guy who is probably gay! Ah well, maybe someday I’ll laugh about it when I tell my grandchildren. Yeah, that happened!
11) This ‘jokey’ boy
This guy was from one of India’s premier institutes, so I figured we could at least have an intelligent conversation – if nothing else. We had booked a table at a fairly upscale South Bombay restaurant and he turned up in a floral Hawaiian type shirt with floaters and a backpack. Letting that pass, we started discussing taking the GMAT exam, and in the middle of dinner, he pulled out his notebook (which was pink) and opened a GMAT paper and began analyzing and discussing Math equations! It got better: he then deliberately mispronounced one of the dishes so it sounded offensive which was funny the first time (I have a crass sense of humour myself), but it wasn’t so funny when he proceeded to do it like 25 times, even to the waiter when ordering it. So yeah. Didn’t end well.
Share your disastrous Valentine’s Day story with us!