Source: www.tumblr.com
Source: www.tumblr.com

As year #2 as a married couple (out of an infinite number of unmarried years together) comes to a close, I sit back and ponder. I shared some lessons from year #1, but what gyaan can I possibly give to my girlfriends who are entering the second year of this holy matrimony? Sigh. So much to say. Here goes:

1) You will get fat.

Sorry girls, if you haven’t already let go in year one, be ready to face the belly this year. All because you spent last year trying to match his appetite. Fear not, just drop that donut … before its too late.

Source: www.giphy.com
Source: www.giphy.com

2)  You’ll dress normally.

Hallelujah! The pressure of ‘new bride’ ‘new bahu’ is finally off your head! You might even get away with stepping out of the house or meeting the in-laws in pyjamas this year. But don’t celebrate just yet…

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Source: www.tumblr.com

3) You must be impregnated!

Just when you thought the pressure is off, think again. get ready for aunties to start saying, ‘Beta, when are we getting the good news?’ Or getting lectures on the importance of family planning at the right time.

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Source: www.tumblr.com

4) You’ll be able to cook.

You may have sworn to stay out of the kitchen many years ago, but two years into marriage you would know how to cook at least one dish. Probably sooji ka halwa to impress the oldies.

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Source: www.tumblr.com

5) Your definition of love will change.

Gone are your days of over-the-top love proclamations. I’m sorry but you’ve probably become more sober in love. Love is no longer a mad chase for affection any more (tiring but enjoyable nevertheless). Love in year #2 is dependable. Like that comfortable feeling of knowing if you ever need it, there’s Nutella in the fridge. How comforting.

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Source: www.tumblr.com

6) You’ll be part of a tag-team!

You’ve finally understood that someone’s got your back and you’ve got his. You become a team player and you start to live by the mantra ‘There is no ‘i’ in team.’ You’re both two fatties in a tag-team world championship.

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Source: www.tumblr.com

7) You’ll lose some friends.

If in year #1 you found your friend circle dwindling, year #2 will see the number plummet. But that’s okay, because you kind of don’t care any more. The only friend who’ll never leave you is FAT.

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Source: www.tumblr.com

8) You’ll become a sexy samurai.

Smelly socks don’t bother you as much. You have found a way to ignore the wet towel on the bed. Or he has simply learnt to take care of himself. You walk through that maze of dirty clothes strewn all over the floor with the grace of a Zen master in deep meditation. And when guests come calling, you move with the swiftness of a ninja to clean your home.

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Source: www.tumblr.com

9) You’ll lose interest in TV.

If you’re married to a sports buff, by now you’ve lost all hope of watching an episode of Sex and the City and you’ve completely given up control of the idiot box. It no longer interests you. Good thing you watched your quota of TV already!

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Source: www.tumblr.com

10) You’ll make your own rules!

All of year #1 you tried to come up with ideas on how a couple should be. The sequel sees you making your own rules. You have long forgotten the unrealistic ideas of romance propagated by Bollywood. You (finally!) understand what kind of a couple you are and you decide whether you’re Raj and Simran or Mogambo and Ms Hawa Hawai.

Source: www.tumblr.com
Source: www.tumblr.com

What are your thoughts on marriage? Tell us in the comments below!