Top 10 Most Tweetable Jokes By Jerry Seinfeld!

Nicole Teresa Juneja , 09 Mar 2015

Who doesn’t love a good laugh! Especially when they happen to be hilarious (and clever) cracks about everyday habits and awkward social obligations (of which we have so many!)

In just a few more days, Jerry Seinfeld is coming and tickets are available on for ₹12,500,₹10,000 & the ₹7,500 at a a 50% discount. Get yours now!

The Emmy Award winning comedian is bringing his very special brand of humour to Mumbai, on March 14 and 15, as part of the Stage42 Festival. It’s his first performance in Asia, and we cannot wait to hear him tell us, what’s the deal with… (India!)

Until then, here are the top 10 tweetable Jerry Seinfeld one-liners, to warm you up for the big show!


Looking at cleavage is like looking at the sun. You don’t stare at it. It’s too risky. You get a sense of it and then you look away.



The worst way of flying, I think, is standby. It never works. That’s why they call it standby. You end up standing there going, ‘Bye!’


Why do they call it a ‘building’? It looks like they’re finished. Why isn’t it a ‘built’?


A two-year-old is kind of like having a blender, but you don’t have a top for it.


I think it’s funny to be delicate with subjects that are explosive.



Sometimes the road less traveled is less traveled for a reason.


You know you’re getting old when you get that one candle on the cake. Its like, ‘See if you can blow this out.’


I was the best man at the wedding. If I’m the best man, why is she marrying him?


There is no such thing as fun for the whole family.


Make no mistake about why these babies are here – they are here to replace us!

That’s all folks!


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