So THESE are the conversations I have with my friends on Whatsapp. Don’t judge us, you know you do it too!
Friend 1: (who wants to remain anonymous for obvious reasons): Holy shit! Kanye is sitting two seats away from me on my flight from Germany to the US.
Friend 1: He looks pissed, should I talk to him? F*ck. He is wearing a hoodie and has covered his face with a blanket. Doesn’t look that approachable.
Nowshad: He probably spotted you.
Friend 2: Then you should def go talk to him!
Friend 1: We actually made eye contact for a split second before he went dark…
Friend 2: That’s a clear signal for “come bother me”.
Friend 1: He kind of scares me. Ha!
Friend 2: He seems like he would be a total *ss! You should ask him if he is Kim Kardashian‘s hubby!
Friend 1: He is sitting next to lady! Totally covered. Ha!
Nowshad: By the way, that does not look like first class. You sure it’s him?
Friend 3: Just start blasting Gold digger on your phone!
Friend 4: Dude, when he wakes up you gotta approach and tell him you want to invest in anything he does!
Friend 1: Ok will update you guys in 9 hours. Malz you can blog if nothing comes of my approach or he beats my ass and we both go to jail.
Me: How will he know? (Although it would amazing if Kanye reads my blog.)
Friend 1: We made eye contact. He knows me now. Everybody is old and German. I feel like he wanted to talk to me in that split second we connected. I scream hip hop!
Friend 5: Every 10 minutes shout “hey, are we going NorthWest?!!” And wink at him each time.
Me: My beauty blogger has a theory on why he is angry… his manager couldn’t get him a seat in first class.
Friend 1: Was shocked he wasn’t in first.
Friend 5: Or maybe Kim K’s butt is taking up two seats in first class?
Me: Beauty blogger says, “oh no he di‘int!”
Friend 5: Just stand in front of his row until he looks at you, then moon him, then say “sorry I was trying to break the Internet”.
Nowshad: Take pics! Not of yourself. For a change.
Friend 1: Sent you one. I will try. I am scared. But for you guys I will sacrifice.
Nowshad: You have ways.
Friend 5: Introduce yourself as Sid Mallya.
Friend 1: I am going to ask him for a record deal. Ok wish me luck. Peace out. So nervous, and excited. What a weird feeling.
Me: Tell him we love Bae!
Friend 6: I woke up to this insanely funny conversation. Malz I sort of feel like this convo is better blog post material than Kanye himself on the flight not in first class. Ask him if Kim hubby, ask if going Northwest, blast Gold Digger, Kim’s butt. We got some witty peeps in this crew!
Me: Permission to blog?
Friend 1: Yes. Of course. I did say hi to him. He was pretty nice.
Friend 2: What? That’s all we get after all that?
Friend 4: Seriously.
Me: Any more pictures?!
And scene. Now all you need to know is that our Whatsapp group is called the Bandra Bada$$es and we can do this ALL day!