Comedian Aditi Mittal's Epic Rant On Fairness Creams Is Something You Should Definitely Read!

Aditi Mittal

The great Aditi Mittal is someone whose tweets I really love to read. She’s smart, she’s sassy and she makes so much sense! Be it as her characters she often portrays in her stand-up comedy gigs- Dr. Lutchuke and Dolly Khurana or as the funniest ‘roaster‘ at the AIB Knockout, Mittal is an inspiration for girls across India. That’s why when she tweeted about her displeasure with fairness products and the harmful idea of ‘beauty’ such products like to promote, I had to write about it. Trust me, you’ll thank me for this!

Here’s how it started.

Fair and Lovely has a BB cream. So they can sell you crappy regressive ideas about skin tone along with light coverage.

— Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

Fuck Fair & Lovely for aiming creams at “Freshers” in college. Prey on MOST insecure time in a kids life w/ your poison cream & bad ideas. — Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

Can’t wait for Fair and Lovely Baby cream. KYA AAPKA BACCHA KAALA HAI? BACCHE KA RANG BADLO, USKA FUTURE BADLO.

— Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

And of course, she came up with brilliant ideas to hammer the importance of fairness into fetuses, because why not?

Fair and Lovely Pre-natal whitening cream. Just apply it on your belly while pregnant and our chemicals will soak RIGHT into the baby. — Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

And mother’s milk.

Fair and lovely, lactating moms ke liye. Aap ka doodh SABSE white, aapke bacche ka future SABSE bright.

— Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

She shared why this whole thing irked her so much.

In coll, a friend who suffered from an melanin deficiency issue was more than often mocked about it. — Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

Toh society ko such nahin pata if it wants white or dark, either ends of the spectrum-they will find a way to mock you.

— Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

And that lead to more brilliant ideas.

My fav is that fairness creams comes with their own accessory— shade card. Shade Card. Ye Nerolac nahin hai, shakal hai meri. — Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

You jerks wasting all your time and money on education and developing a personality really need to STOP IT. Ye lo cream. *dance break*

— Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

Remember ‘ayurvedic ingredients’ like ‘kumkumaditaylam’ (wut?) these creams claimed to have, in order to sound like legit stuff made by our sages?

Now with Activated charcoal. KYA YAAR. Isse pehele deactivate karke dala hua tha kya? Activated Charcoal. — Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

All the ingredients in these creams always have a verb/adjective attached to them. “Activated charcoal” “Sacred Lotus Extracts”

— Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

Kya hai “Sacred Lotus”? Is is a lotus that prays a lot? Does it know Gayatri mantra by heart? Then why are we killing it to put it in cream? — Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

No one is saying you can’t sell your snake-oil. Arre uspe toh duniya kayakm hai. Par STOP attaching harmful things to the psyche of ppl.

— Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

Bakwaas ka pitara baja baja ke logon ko insecure karna. — Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

Because obviously, while writing the Vedas and penning down epics like Ramayan and Mahabharat, these guys decided to make fairness creams.

And finally, she gave this nugget of information every person who applies fairness products should know.

Your skin colour is determined by melanin, which lies BELOW your skin. There isNO way to change that by rubbing things on it.

— Aditi Mittal (@awryaditi) July 31, 2015

*Bows to Aditi*

*Writes her fan mail*