11 Creepy Bollywood Sex Scenes That'll Make You Want To Gouge Your Eyes Out

Shreemi Verma , 22 Oct 2015
Akshay Kumar and Rekha
Akshay Kumar and Rekha

So I search for a lot of shady stuff on the Internet (I’m paid for doing this okay), and as you lovely people would know, your ‘related search’ columns starts giving rather interesting suggestions on the side. Obviously, the curious kid that I am, I clicked on one of the various ‘hot Bollywood scenes wow sex is great‘ links and this was my reaction:

Phoebe
Source: Giphy.com

So here are 11 of the creepiest sex scenes Bollywood has given us. The list has been a combination of the shit I’ve seen and the scenes the lovely girls of Team MM have watched (we’re a dirty bunch), check them out.

1) Om Puri and Mallika Sherawat (Dirty Politics)

From the movie Dirty Politics, this song features Mallika Sherawat and Om Puri going at it like there’s no tomorrow. It’s just depressing to see Om claw at Mallika like that.

2) Rajesh Khanna and Laila Khan (Waffa)

Isn’t it sad to see a popular superstar’s mid-life crisis on-screen? Rajesh Khanna (who by that time had become a grandfather) doing the nasty in Waffa is vomit inducing.

3) Tabu (Hawa)

You are better than this Tabu.

4) Rekha and Navin Nischol (Aastha)

Let the image of Navin Nischol sucking on Rekha‘s toes always be etched in your memory. Always.

5) Rekha and Akshay Kumar (Khiladiyon Ka Khiladi)

In the night, no control takes bits from 91/2 weeks and other iconic erotic movies, and yet, watching Rekha and Akshay Kumar get dirty (literally) is quite cringe-worthy. Also, Dimple Kapadia had been approached to play this role, just imagine how awkward family gatherings would be had she done the movie, considering that later, Akshay went on to marry Dimple’s daughter.

6) Mithun Chakraborty and Sushmita Sen (Chingaari)

The scenes in this Kalpana Lajmi movie are meant to be disgusting as Mithun Chakraborty plays a rapist godman and Sushmita Sen, a suffering prostitute. But, come on, do we really have to see Mithun lick Sushmita’s back? REALLY?

7) Kapil Sharma and Aryan Vaid (Dunno Y Na Jaane Kyu)

This scene from ‘India’s answer to Brokeback Mountain‘ had Aryan Vaid and Kapil Sharma (not the Babaji Ka Thullu one) dirty talk uncomfortably in English. ‘Nuff said.

8) Paoli Dam and Joy Sengupta (Hate Story)

Not so much cring-y but actually very funny. This scene has Paoli Dam in the cowgirl position, making her victim (she’s on a revenge trail) soooooo happy that he has no idea that she’s transferring confidential data from his phone to hers – while riding him.

9) Neha Dhupia and Sanjay Kapoor (Julie)

Sanjay Kapoor and Neha Dhupia making out should scar anyone and everyone. But the weirdest thing about this scene is that ‘I love Julie‘ written all over Neha’s back with permanent marker. Is that some kind of a tramp stamp no one knows of?

10) Manisha Koirala and Karan Nath (Tum)

This scene between Manisha Koirala and Karan Nath is extremely creepy. The context is that Manisha is drunk so Karan gets her to his house and when she passes out, he proceeds to have sex with her WHILE SHE’S NOT IN HER SENSES! The worst part is that Manisha does not file a police complaint against Karan (like a normal woman should) but proceeds to cheat on her husband regularly with this guy. The guy who I repeat has sex with her while she’s unconscious.

11) Shah Rukh Khan and Deepa Sahi (Maya Memsaab)

Never seen a Shah Rukh Khan sex scene after Maya Memsab and for a good reason. It had Deepa aggressively scratch Shah Rukh’s bare back and the sex was so intense that they tore a pillow! And no, it’s not good intense, it’s just a mortifying experience.

Bollywood really needs to get sex right. We’re the land of Kama Sutra for God’s sake! What do you think?

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