Yo Yo Honey Singh went off the grid almost as suddenly as he broke into the scene. He was a musical star and you could love him or hate him, but you just could not ignore him. However, he suddenly went missing in action and all sorts of speculations and rumours surrounded him. He’s back and is ready to take over the world again. In an interview to TOI, he spoke about his struggles with alcohol, bipolarity and how the last 18 months were the darkest phase of his life.
This is the first time I am talking about it as I want my fans to know what happened to me. Nobody knows about this, and I wanted to tell the world myself, not through a spokesperson. The last 18 months were the darkest phase of my life, and I wasn’t in a state to talk to anyone. I know there were rumours that I was in rehab (for drug overdose), but I was in my Noida house throughout.
The truth is I was suffering from bipolar disorder. It went on for 18 months, during which I changed four doctors, the medication wasn’t working on me and crazy things were happening. I must confess that I was bipolar and an alcoholic, which aggravated the condition.
It was scary. One year had passed and I wasn’t responding to medicines, until a fourth doctor from Delhi treated me. At one point, I thought I would live in this darkness forever. I had cut myself off from everyone. I didn’t come out of my room, forget stepping out of the house. I had a beard and I didn’t get a haircut for months. For someone who has performed in front of a crowd of 20,000, I was scared of facing 4-5 people. That’s what bipolar disorder does to you.
In that phase, I wrote 50-60 poems. They are like khuli shayari, so I can’t make them into songs. One night when I couldn’t sleep in spite of popping sleeping pills, I wrote and composed a song called Rise and Shine, after seeing my mom break down. She is the only reason I am here today.
After the sun went down, I was scared of my own family. I wasn’t behaving like myself. I was a sick person. I wasn’t in my own control. But now it is all behind me and I’ve come out of it. I am under a doctor’s supervision, and before doing this interview, I called and told him that I was going to tell the world about this. I think I’m not my own, or my parents’ property. I belong to my fans who have made me. They needed to know, and this was the best time to talk about it. Today is also special as it’s my birthday.
Luckily, four of my songs released even while I was ill, and they did so well. I am getting into the groove. I don’t plan too much, just let it flow. Now, I want to work more on contemporary music, as I have done a lot of dance music. I am bringing back street hip-hop again. The whole music scene here is urban and international, as compared to 10 years ago when it was dominated by Bollywood music