Great Grand Masti has ‘released’ in cinemas, a week before it was supposed to ‘cum’ in theaters. If this isn’t premature ejaculation, I don’t know what is. You think our puns are gross? Wait till you watch the movie. Or else, you could just save your money and read Team MissMalini‘s thoughts on this movie instead.
1) Looking forward to the special night ahead.
2) Glad we had a drink before this!
3) Good luck, girls <3
4) We’re in this together.
5) We can get through this.
6) We shall overcome?
7) Feelin real bad for Pyaari, the baby goat who got lost in this strange looking haveli.
8) I guess this creepy ghost loves mutton.
9) Or does ghost turn into Urvashi Rautela?
10) There was a time Vivek was headlining the Masti franchise! #Timeflies
11) How can a Bollywood movie be complete without white chicks dancing behind our ‘sexy’ heroes?
12) 2016 is the year where Aftab Shivdasani has had 2 releases #NeverForget
13) So apparently Aftab’s wife in this movie sports a look that has been inspired by Gauri Khan. I wonder how Gauri feels about this.
14) One of the girls is a Vicco turmeric model, she doesn’t blink even once in the ad.
15) The movie has started with a hand job. Hmmm.
16) Riteish has saved wife’s name as chudail ki beti. Nice.
17) Sanjay Mishra deserves better.
18) The aunty in yellow saree has quit Krushna Abhishek’s Comedy Nights Live
19) Why does Riteish’s mom-in-law want her dead husband re-incarnated as her grandson? Isn’t that kinda gross?
20) How on earth do we have so much information about shows no one watches?
21) Babaji approved sex. Or sanskari sex, whatever you want to call it.
22) Didn’t need to see so much of Riteish’s thighs.
23) He keeps very serial murderer type things in his bedside drawer!
24) Which sister-in-law behaves like that?
25) Jiju hil gaye down there??
26) Choti wears clothes 3 sizes too small, because obviously.
27) Mr and Mrs Lauda, classy.
28) Why is Mr. Lauda wearing Harry potter glasses?
29) The mountains have many voices.
30) The background music is as subtle as Aftab’s face
31) What the actual fuck??
32) So Vivek’s wife and her brother are twins who have the same connection like Salman did in Judwaa, especially when it comes to sex. Okay.
33) “Main chala ghar deposit karne” It’s called a sperm ‘bank’ for this reason, right? RIGHT?
34) Can I go home?
35) Seductive ghost who says ‘Andar aaja mere raaja’. Vikram Bhatt are you listening?
36) Maid’s name is Shiny. Subtle.
37) So we have a creepy jeeja-saali story-line and now a rape-y maid and owner sub-plot. It’s like the shady side of Indian YouTube is playing out on the big screen.
— Shreemi Verma (@shreemiverma) July 10, 2016
38) Wasn’t Sonali Raut in The Xpose? From Himesh to Riteish, that’s an upgrade. Maybe not.
39) At least The Xpose was fun
40) Their village is called doodhwaadi.
41) The focus on boobs is unsettling. Seriously.
42) Did she just pose with a banana?
And a lollipop…
43) They dont have access to porn kya?
44) “Meri saali kebab mein haddi nahi hara bhara kebab hai!”
45) How is Aftab still allowed to work?
46) I miss Lara Dutta on the roof in the rain.
47) No wonder Shiney Ahuja is filing a case against these peeps!
48) I love how Whatsapp jokes are parts of these scripts.
49) Aftab really wants his friends to eat his ass.
50) Stop this shit. Please.
51) Cactus ko ‘cocktus’ bola.
52) Are 40 year old men really like this? Yea, they probably are.
53) I have seen uncles grinding during Lucky Ali’s concert at Sula fest.
54) “I love your beautiful matkas” new ways to talk about boobs.
55) Vivek has said “guys let’s milk this opportunity” like twice and they’ve ignored him!
It’s his personal “fetch”
It’s never gonna happen
56) They’ve taken all the actors from the various comedy shows on Indian TV!
57) All female ghosts in Bollywood are Ragini.
58) Wow animation in flashback sequences!
59) This looks like the destroyed Om Shanti Om set in the second half.
60) How does Riteish own Ragini’s house without knowing nothing about her? Why do I expect logic from this film?
61) Ragini does not know that masturbation exists. She doesn’t really need men to orgasm, but who will make her understand?
62) Do I want to watch Urvashi Rautella’s boobs so closely? I don’t think so. Am I the target audience for the film? I don’t think so.
63) Masti (part 1) was much, much funnier.
64) “Itni badi badi wajah dikhi nahi!”
65) Did he just enact fingering?
66) Houseful 3 looks like a masterpiece now.
67) Give the poor girl some clothes.
68) So… they’re going to take turns with her?
69) Uske kuch kuch mein kuch nai hota hai? More penis jokes.
70) Finally they know she’s a ghost. Movie over?
71) “Saale jhootiye!”
72) Iske ghadi ki sui bohot choti hai ???? It’s not the size guys, it’s what you do with it.
73) I miss Main Prem Ki Deewani ka dog and parrot. They acted better.
74) Honey Singh is taking back all the words of Love Dose after seeing this film.
75) This haweli is like Hotel California. You can enter but cannot leave.
76) Sex is like mukti only!
77) Viagra so good even your glass becomes big.
79) The table is resting on their erections.
80) Metaphorical glasses because we don’t understand erections.
81) He’s playing gandi baat on piano with his dick. *Ulti*
82) “Gaon ka gigolo”
83) So all unemployed actors are getting a role in this movie.
84) From Iqbal to Babu Rangeela, the gigolo – Shreyas Talpade has come a long way in Bollywood!
85) The biwis are here. I had forgotten they were in this movie.
86) They’ll pitch in Karva Chauth too because wives are best.
87) “Tum teeno sachi mere saath Masti karna chahte ho na?” Who the fuck refers to sex as ‘masti’ anymore?
88) RIP Shreyas Talpade’s career.
89) Breast piece sirf mere husband ke liye chhodna hai.
90) Is he motor-boating a ghost?
91) Is that how Riteish kisses?
92) I have never had such a strong urge to go home.
93) “Bhaad mein gayi masti, ab toh hogi zabardasti”. I can’t even.
94) The ‘heroes’ have suggested raping Riteish’s mother-in-law because the ‘ghost’ is apparently inside her. This movie gets better with every passing second. Not.
95) I have the same bag that Sanjay Mishra is carrying, in a different colour!
96) Baby ko orgy pasand hai.
97) Dil De Diya Hai Jaan Tujhe Denge moment cuz gotta throwback to the best movie of this joke of a franchise.
98) There guys are actually complaining after assaulting an old woman.
99) A watermelon came out of Sanjay Mishra’s ass. Hope he was paid millions of rupees.
100) Karva cauth vs kala jaadoo. Sasural Simar Ka is more realistic.
101) Obviously! By the end of it women have to prove their worth because “men will be men”.
102) The men of this move sound exactly like Salman Khan fans on Twitter.
103) They’re saying ‘tujhe tadpa tadpa ke maarenge’ to a dead girl. Because that totally makes sense.
104) Why are they getting turned on? Is sex literally in the air?
105) Tumhe 6 months nai mili toh yeh haal hogaya
Maine to 50 saal intezar kiya hai
That’s why guys, be sex positive.
106) Just read in the end credits, a female extra’s name is Katy Printer. This had made me laugh more than the entire film.
107) I want these moments of my life back.