I Went On A Date With A Guy Who Peed In Front Of Me

Swagata Dam , 26 Aug 2016


I reached the restaurant right on time but he was already there, enjoying his beer and a plate of onion rings. I was slightly taken aback to see that he had already ordered his food and drinks. But I didn’t mind. What I did mind was the super boring conversation that followed. I really tried hard to talk, but he wouldn’t let me. He went on and on about some unique numbers that are printed on every Indian rupee note and how he collects them etc. He also chirped about his love for history and the architecture of the churches in Bandra and some buildings in London. I tried to be a good listener, so I smiled and nodded every now and then. Maybe he misinterpreted my expressions and thought I was enjoying the conversation a lot. So he spoke some more… and more…

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I am a foodie and I had planned on eating my dinner at that restaurant. But I just nibbled on one onion ring and found my appetite shrinking like never before. I lied to him about having a curfew time at home and split the bill with him. I was ready to leave and then he asked, “So should we book an Uber?” while tapping on his phone. When I quizzed him about the cab’s ETA, he just gave me a blank look. He hadn’t booked any cab. He had just asked me. I was exasperated but I kept my calm. I decided to ditch a cab and take a rickshaw outside the restaurant instead. I wanted to leave ASAP.


He followed me, asking me to give him a lift. I’m sure he could have taken another one. But I am a nice person, so I agreed. OBVIOUSLY he was the only one talking throughout our ride. Then he mumbled something like, “I drank too much I guess.” I asked him if he was drunk, he shook his head.

AND THEN IT HAPPENED – we were stuck in traffic and suddenly, he got off and started peeing across the road. IN FRONT OF MY EYES (I could obviously only see his back, but still). Then he came back just when the signal turned green and started talking again. Whoa. Thankfully, we reached his stop soon and that’s when he offered me his hand for a handshake. Umm, I refused. The next morning, he had messaged me about how he found another note with that number that he’s collecting. He also wrote I should start doing that too. We’ve never spoken ever since.


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