Bitch Boss: Priya Malik's "Mardo Wala Review" Of Day 28 In The House

Priya Malik , 15 Nov 2016

Ex-Bigg Boss contestant Priya Malik is recapping Bigg Boss season 10 for us. You can read her recaps here. Follow her on Twitter: @PriyaSometimes.

Disclaimer: The views expressed here are solely those of the author.

Priya Malik
Priya Malik

The masterplan failed over the weekend! Yay!

The housemates get woken up to Tunak tunak tun ta da da and even though that song is old, it still has more life than Rahul, Karan, Gaurav and Rohan (Yes, Rohan, sorry, disownment in process).

Manu asks Bani a question regarding Swami ji‘s chores duty, and she gets really pissed at him and speaks in English (captain), and they (her and Gaurav) strategise that they should mentally exhaust Manu, so he stops playing the game, and becomes a zombie like them. M3 (Manu, Manveer and Mona) begin chiding Swami ji for his inconsistency and for the bullshit he said in the gupt kamra. The funniest bit is that Swami ji thought they had never find out about it. Nothing remains hidden in the Bigg Boss house. Even neechewaala bhi sab dekh raha hai.

Swami ji advises Bani that she should put him in the kitchen duties because she had benefit from it. He says that he wants to bring their asli chehras out before nominations. Hearing this, Bani and Gaurav stare blankly into space. Nominations are then announced with a twist. An awesome masaaledaar twist which is sure to give rise to fights and arguments (just how I like it). The contestants who can’t be nominated are Bani (captain), Nitibha (immunity medallion) and Swami ji (Jesus’ second coming). The twist is that they all have to come up with 4 names of housemates  who are the most boring in the house with aapasi sehmati.

Due to Bani’s asli tatti captaincy, her right to nominate is taken away from her and the rest of the housemates are left to discuss it. The camera zooms in on Rahul and Karan’s face to read any signs of self awareness.  Swami ji says that he doesn’t want to be a part of the discussion and Rahul practically nominates himself. So heroic. While the discussion takes place, Bani talks to the camera paraphrasing everything that we already know. Her captaincy insights are so enlightening that I feel like a reformed person everytime I hear her. She is so intelligent and knowledgeable and just and fair and has dealt with power so responsibly. Vote for Bani.

After a lot of silly voting techniques, during which Nitibha puts out a gem “shuru se shuru karo na”, which could be Bollywood song really, they decide on Rahul, Karan, Lokesh (who is actually very entertaining), Manveer and Mona. There’s a tie between Mona and Manveer and hence Swami ji tries to break it by nominating Mona. Manoj gets really angry at Swami ji’s untimely vote and goes to hit him by saying “Maar doonga jaan se” (yep) which is interrupted by Rahul. Told you he is heroic.

During this scuffle, Swami ji calls Mona “Manu ki premika” and everything suddenly becomes more intense than Naagin. Mona confronts Swami ji and lashes out a few swear words at him, and complains about his erstwhile haathon ka jaadu. When Lokesh tries to question Swami ji about his comments, he screams at her and is supported by Nitibha. Yay. Women power. M3 miss Navin’s yelling antics at the end of this argument, but we don’t. While this whole thing takes place, Bani stays in the bedroom dreaming of the next season of Roadies.

When Bigg Boss asks Manveer to announce the final names, he takes names of his own accord at which Bigg Boss decides to give them some more time and prays for some more fights and, the prayers get answered. Manoj insists on playing “mardo waala game”, what is a mardo waala game? Let’s play ‘Who wants to become a Misogynicticcaire’, because that’s the only game that I see a lot of men playing.

In this mardo waala discussion, we see testosterone exploding in the Bigg Boss house. The living room gets filled with semen and everyone begins to swim in it. We hear macho songs cranking up in the background and beards fall from the sky. It is a wet dream. Ultimately, the nominated contestants are Rahul, Karan, Lokesh and Mona.

Later Bani questions Lopa‘s support of Manu and Manveer during the nominations at which Lopa slays Bani in the argument. We cut to Manu and Mona discussing the disappearing commoners group. Manu also says “sab ko satisfy nahi kar sakte”, I bet he has tried. He also philosophises a bit on the current situation. We see Lokesh patching up with Manveer and they slowly transform into M3L while they advise Lokesh to stay away from Rohan.

In the meanwhile, Mona complains about the bathrooms being dirty but gets really angry when Rohan does the same about her cleaning area. Manoj bitchbosses a roti sequence that took place between Gaurav and Bani and M3L LOL it out. We see Swami ji isolated on a bench thinking “Kabhi kabhi mere dil main khayal aata hai ki zindagi agar Oorja ki narm chaao main guzarne paati to shadaab ho bhi sakti thi” and Oorja responds to it.

PS: Nitibha, did you get this review?
PPS: Ya phir shuru se shuru karoon?

Yours bitchfully,

Bitch Boss

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