At the Reebok #FitToFight awards, held in the capital last night, Kangana Ranaut was present as the brand ambassador of the leading sports brand to honour women who have defeated all odds and emerge as a winner. Kangana herself, was embroiled in an ugly legal battle with her alleged ex, Hrithik Roshan and the subject became media fodder.
Something in me, which has been the cause of all controversies, is urging me to say this. The voice inside me is saying don’t do this but it would be unfair not to share such an important aspect of my life today. The world knows me as an achiever and the world gives more importance to my achievements but for me, the most important thing about my personality is that I see myself as a lover. If I am a fan of any aspect of myself then it is the ability to love and to be able to stay in love even though the other doesn’t really feel the same thing.
There was this young girl in the mountains. Extremely brave, naive, impractical and stubborn. This girl, when she was walking she saw a picture of a man and she fell is love with him. And that picture led her to cross oceans, deserts, mountains and landscapes. She is standing under stars with the man and this man kisses her and he says I love you. The worlds meet and it becomes a trap between the real world and the world which was supposed to be future and to be reached, but one manages to reach there. What happens is that this man says that she is not a normal girl, she has a lot of fire in her belly. And she isn’t even a woman, she is a lion in a woman. So, the man gets scared of this woman and that’s when the whole love story becomes a tragedy. But the thing is I cannot help if I have fire in my belly. To make myself worthy of an individual or my lover, I have crossed mental landscapes, human landscapes and all sort of distances covered. But what happens when these worlds meet and you are faced of extreme brutality? I am saying this because people have seen how I have put up a strong front to fight but nobody has seen what I feel as a woman, when I am subjected to that kind of brutality. The letters that I might have written, which were brutally exposed to the world. How did I feel as a human being because every letter that you’ve written to your lover holds a lot of vulnerability? You are exposing part of your soul or yourself, not to the world but to an individual. I felt extremely naked in front of the world. I cried for nights in my room. People make fun of me. But I never answered to that brutality in the same spirit. I think that makes me see myself as a winner. I can’t help if I am not good enough for an individual but I think what’s not justice is to make fun of a woman’s vulnerabilities and sort of embarrass her for her desires. As far as letters are concerned, I’ve gone ahead to tell my side of the story but the only thing I want to say is, “Jinko duniya ki nigaaho se chupa kar rakha, jinko ek umar kaleje se laga ke rakha. Teri khushboo mein base khat main jalata kaise, pyar main doobe hue khat main jalaata kaise”.