Is This Why Chandler, Joey & Ross Were Never Attracted To Phoebe?

Shreemi Verma , 12 Apr 2017

A Quora user had a valid question about FRIENDS which is rather interesting. The show, which was about a group of 6 friends had 4 of them falling in love with each other. Even Joey (who the only one who didn’t have a partner at the end of the show) had a relationship with Rachel. But Phoebe, who found her ‘happily ever after’ with Mike never dated Chandler, Joey or Ross.

Phoebe Wishes She Could But Doesn't Want To

The person asked why this never happened, and the Internet (which primarily consists of people who love Phoebe) had very interesting answers.

Why didn’t Ross, Chandler or Joey develop feelings for Phoebe?

Nitin Gopi –

Excellent question! Lets see all the cases when feelings were developed, within the main cast, during the show.

Nothing to say about Ross-Rachel. Rachel was Ross’s crush since his school days.

Monica & Chandler started off on sex. They initially didn’t had any feelings for each other. It was just because Monica was feeling low and vulnerable and Chandler was there for her. It’s good for them that they clicked! But that never happens always now does it? Remember when Ross was feeling low, and Phoebe was there for him? They almost did it on the pool table! But they got distracted and realized it wasn’t a good idea after all.

Now lets look at the Joey-Rachel scenario. Joey was the one who grew feelings for Rachel which were reciprocated by her later on. They kissed and all, but they couldn’t have sex even when they tried to. Reason was perfectly shown at the end of the episode, when this happens :

Rachel: I wonder how Monica and Chandler could do it?

Joey: I guess they weren’t as good friends as we are.

Now relate this with Phoebe. She’s a great friend to everyone. That’s possibly why the thought of being with any of them never occurred. She was more of a wing man to them (setting them up with dates and pointing them to possible opportunities) and she was pretty comfortable in her own skin.

I also think that whenever we talk about friendship between a guy and a girl, the ‘attraction’ element is always brought up by people. Generally people assume is that a guy and a girl cannot be friends forever, and that both, or at least one of them would indeed begin to have some feelings of attraction for the other. I don’t agree with that. I think friendship of Phoebe with the guys in the show is a really good example given to us by the writers, telling us there’s more to friendship between opposite genders than what is generalized. The show is diverse that way. Some friends go on to fall in love, some never do! It’s not always about getting things spiced up between a guy and a girl, sometimes it’s just about a lasting friendships!

P.S. – I’m so in love with her!

Anushray Singh –

Because, Phoebe never showed any kind of gesture, hint or gave any vibe that would even for a second would make these three men consider courtship with her.

I always felt Phoebe and Joey were more like two siblings. They shared stupid jokes. They goofed around and encouraged each other’s stupidities. So, I feel Joey always saw her in a non sexual way and also because Joey is a man who believes in one night stands and with Phoebe such kind of arrangement wouldn’t have been the most appropriate of things.

Now, let’s come to Ross. First of all, Phoebe was one of the closest friend to Rachel -who throughout the show had an ‘on’ and ‘off’ relationship with Ross. So, getting involved with Phoebe could mean a really awkward situation between the three of them. As we all know, they all hung around at Central Perk all the time, so such an involvement of Phoebe with Ross could have had ruined that.

Now, let’s talk why Chandler never showed any interest in Phoebe.Throughout the show – Phoebe clearly mocked Chandler the most. She never even for a moment gave Chandler a morsel of hope that he can actually woo her. So in a way Phoebe never really showed any form of chemistry with Chandler and that might be the reason Chandler never really developed any feelings for her.

Nabiha M. Karim –

Rachel and Monica were conventional characters. Granted, Monica had OCD and could get on ones’ nerves. Rachel was spoilt on many levels but extremely pretty. Besides Ross and Rachel’s history was a major sub plot in the story. Here too, Ross was like any average guy. He was crazy about a pretty girl since he was a teenager and he could never truly grow out of it.

Phoebe on the other hand was an entirely different ball game. She was a character that the writers had a great time creating. She was a blank canvas and they made her every bit good and weird as she could be. Phoebe was exotic and loving her would take immense courage and maturity that none of the characters had. She was the kind of girl who they were all affectionate towards but Phoebe had so much baggage. Joey and Chandler wouldn’t know what to do with her. Ross was, well Ross.

So in came Mike who seemed mature and stable and worthy of loving Phoebe.

Avani Dedhia

Well I don’t exactly know but it could be because may be they didn’t like that way and even see in random episodes even she has something against all the guys making them unfit for her.

*SPOILER ALERT* (though there is a spoiler in the question as well ;)

But there is this one episode Season 3 Episode 6 – “The one with the flashback” where the whole episode unfolds to answer a question by Janice- whether the six of them have almost made out with anyone else within the six of them and in that episode Ross and Phoebe were paired.

Such nice answers! And as Avani said in her answer – Ross and Phoebe did make out, Joey and Phoebe did share a few cases and who can forget Phoebe’s hilariously seducing Chandler so that he confesses to dating Monica?

So she’s had her moments with the dudes on the show, for sure, but no one can be as perfect as Mike.

Mike and Phoebe
Mike and Phoebe

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