"Fat People Can Have Sex", Instagrammer Thrashes Beauty Standards

Swagata Dam , 05 May 2017

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*Please Read* I always tell people that what I say and share on Instagram is truthful in my journey in life. So I imagine that many can understand, when I say that I've always felt I was a "beautiful person" but that I never stopped and said "Sarah you are pretty." Physical Beauty can be a very different thing then having a beautiful soul and heart. And I've always defined my sense of beauty based on my characteristics and not what I've looked like. Anyone who's ever fallen outside the definition of what society would call "pretty" can probably understand what that feels like. It's not that I ever thought I was ugly, it's just that I valued my total package by the total sum of all the things I brought to the table. And my looks were a tiny part of that… So I need you to know from the bottom of my heart that this series of pictures that I took a few weeks ago, was the first time in my entire adult life that I looked at a photo of myself and said "Sarah you are pretty." When I first looked at the photos I actually didn't recognize myself. The changes in my body and face in the last here have allowed my eyes to shine more and my cheeks to be more visible. Even as I sit here telling you this, the tears are streaming down my cheeks. And I'm crying because it took me 38 years to realise that I was not only beautiful on the inside but that I could also be beautiful on the outside. And that that was ok. So I am here to tell you, no matter where you are in your journey of confidence and self love, that it is never too late to get in touch with who you are and what you bring to the table. And it's also empowering thing to be able to say out loud "I am pretty, I am beautiful" and to know that how you feel on the inside reflects on how you look at me outside. And that the energy and love of life that you have discovered for yourself shines all over your face. Which makes it all the more ironic that in the last week I've read more disgusting things about the way I look then one person should ever have to read. And yet I don't hear a single word. Because I know who I am. And nobody can take that from me. ❤🙏 #BeGreater Dress by @kiyonnacurves Pic by @lovelyinla

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“You are too short to wear a maxi dress”. 

“Your arms are too jiggly, don’t buy that sleeveless top.” 

“I don’t have the booty to carry off that fitted skirt.” 

“You should probably start wearing a hat to cover that bald patch of yours.”

“Hey, doesn’t she look darker in that colour?”

“Your friend’s legs are too skinny ya.” 

“I am too fat to be attractive”. 

These are things that we often get to hear. Sometimes we find the voice coming from our own head when we’re too busy self-doubting. Then there are OBVIOUSLY those times when we meet some really generous people who seem to have many opinions about us (our body, sartorial choices, height, complexion, weight, behaviour and what not!)

So it’s very important to love ourselves and stay positive always. And it’s heartening that amidst all the negativity on the internet, there are also many out there who encourage body positivity and try to imbibe confidence in the ones around them.

Popular Instagrammer Sarah Sapora took to Instagram to share a powerful message about body shaming and how plus-sized people don’t have anything to be ashamed of. Intimacy should be beautiful for everyone regardless of their shapes and sizes.

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I once read a stat that reported 51% of women polled would give up sex if it meant they could be thin. This broke my heart. They also say that 1 in 4 women is so weirded out by her own body that she won't have sex with the lights on. And, after sharing a super personal blog post a few years ago, I was flooded with messages from women across the world (literally) saying they were too ashamed of their own body to see their husbands and boyfriends see them naked. This hurts my soul. Look, its totally ok to want to improve your life and strive for things. But we must STOP BEING ASHAMED OF THE BODY THAT WE HAVE RIGHT NOW! Even if you have long-term goals to be fitter. Acceptance and peace are the only places to live. They are the only place that can even allow you to grow and make changes from a balanced mindset. Newsflash; Fat people can have sex. And it can be intimate and beautiful. Fat people can have sex with other fat people, they can have sex with slender people, average people, and even super fit people. @keithwebb and I don't hook up. Hell, we don't even date. We're just great friends who share a deep connection and both really believe in the idea that all bodies deserve to feel good as they are! If you are with a partner, they know how big you are. They either don't care or they actually really like your body. So stop being your worst enemy. Let them touch your thighs, your stomach, their arms. Allow YOURSELF to be touched. You deserve that. If you are anxious about your body and intimacy, breathe. It's just a body. One of the greatest gifts in life is the joy to experience things — to be present. When we're so distracted, being stuck in our head with our own negative talk, we can't possibly live in the Now and enjoy. #BeGreater #selflove #selfcare #bodypositive Photo by @lovelyinla

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More power to you, girl. You inspire!

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