This Instagram Account Spoofs Bollywood Stories And I Don't Know Why You're Not Following It Already

Kareena Kapoor, Saif Ali Khan & Taimur

Hi fans of Bollywood, we know how often the headlines of our stories featuring Bollywood stars and their children tend to get a little ‘extra’. It obviously makes us the butt of many jokes (we read the comments, all of them) and I guess that’s just a part of the job. But last night, one of my best friends sent me a post by this new Instagram parody account called Rayon which is so funny, I’ve been forcing everyone to follow it.

This page has been started by Salva Mubarak, a writer who has worked for publications like Cosmo India and Elle before she branched out. After laughing at the Bollywood news headlines she sees on her timeline everyday, she decided to start a fake news magazine, because she’s obsessed with Bollywood and her head is not entirely in the right place (her words, not mine).  She’s also infamously ‘the girl from Elle‘ who Saif Ali Khan wrote about in his unfortunate open letter defending nepotism.

Created on the lines of The Onion and Reductress, this satirical account spoofs the often exaggerated headlines of Bollywood news stories and the results are pretty epic. Have a look!

Now that Virat and Anushka are married…

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Now that #ViratKohli and #AnushkaSharma have gotten married, you can devote all your free time ( that you used to spend on obsessively analyzing their postures, fashioning voodoo dolls and predicting the colour scheme of their wedding ceremony) to other more productive activities. Like knitting, learning morse code or coming up with the colour scheme for #RanveerSingh and #DeepikaPadukone's wedding ceremony. #Bollywood #Virushka #ViratAnushka #wedding #BollywoodWedding #funny #FakeNews #BollywoodNews

A post shared by Rayon (@rayonmag) on Dec 21, 2017 at 4:56am PST

Maybe Ranbir only cries in the rain so no one can see his tears?

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After #ViratKohli and #AnushkaSharma's Modi-studded reception in Delhi, the newlyweds decided to throw a party for their friends in Mumbai who had written several open letters about experiencing FOMO. Guests, who have been live Tweeting from the reception, were left shocked and distressed after an in-the-middle-of-a-breakdown Ranbir Kapoor didn't serenade the bride with 'Chenna Mereya' and leave the event in tears. Ranbir, Virat, Anushka and PM Modi have not responded to the news yet. #Virushka #ViratAnushkaReception #IndianWedding #Wedding #BollywoodWedding #Bride #Groom #RanbirKapoor #AeDilHaiMushkil #Movies #Songs

A post shared by Rayon (@rayonmag) on Dec 26, 2017 at 9:10am PST

Did you know???

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You know how you think you know someone and they turn out to be Christmas ornaments? Neither did we. But this is Bollywood. The land of people unironically named Tiger and their private jets. Nothing is surprising. #Bollywood #Christmas #BollywoodNews #FakeNews #AliaBhatt #KatrinaKaif @aliaabhatt @katrinakaif

A post shared by Rayon (@rayonmag) on Dec 26, 2017 at 12:21am PST

At this rate, it looks like Virushka will rule the world soon.

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After days of speculations about what kind of mangalsutra newly married #AnushkaSharma will be wearing, the #BadmaashCompany actress showcased her selection to the eagerly awaiting world. On her way back to Mumbai from her Modi-studded reception, paparazzi caught her wearing her mangalsutra at the airport. Almost immediately reports of sudden peace in the middle east started pouring in and scientists declared that all the glaciers have stopped melting. #Bollywood #BollywoodNews #ViratAnushka #Virushka #wedding #IndianWedding #FakeNews

A post shared by Rayon (@rayonmag) on Dec 23, 2017 at 10:15am PST

Who needs enemies when you have such sisters?!

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Celebs…they're just like us. Especially when it comes to petty, passive agressive ways to annoy siblings. We're told by a very trusted source, who is definitely not our neighbour's cook and definitely someone who knows the Kapoor siblings well, that #KareenaKapoor is super miffed with sister #KarismaKapoor for posting pictures on Insta with what appears to be a contour job gone wrong. We tried to reach out to both of them for a comment on this riveting story and are still waiting to hear Karisma's side of the story. Stay tuned for updates. Headline courtesy: @joblessjourno #Bollywood #BollywoodNews #FakeNews #Beauty #contour #BollywoodSiblings @therealkarismakapoor

A post shared by Rayon (@rayonmag) on Dec 22, 2017 at 5:56am PST

You think Saif curses himself everyday for thinking that writing an open letter defending his privilege would be a good idea?

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We know it's a struggle to come up with relevant subjects for your next open letter but eugenically superior star baby Taimur Ali Khan is here to save the day. What appears to be a generic photo of a kid wearing sunglasses, that could be found in any photo studio in the Krishna Nagar area, is actually one of the most viral pictures of the day. Why? Because it happens to be of the aforementioned, star of Student Of The Year part 26, Taimur Ali Khan. The open letter just writes itself… #Bollywood #TaimurAliKhan #OpenLetter #FakeNews #BollywoodNews #KareenaKapoor #SaifAliKhan

A post shared by Rayon (@rayonmag) on Dec 21, 2017 at 8:28am PST

We need to talk…

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So you nod your head in mock agreement whenever he brings up how Bigg Boss is ruining the very fabric of civilised society. But somewhere in the not-so-deep recesses of your mind you find yourself relating to the trash and depraved depths the show falls down to every episode. Is there a way to keep this from tearing your relationship apart? Only Salman Khan knows… #BiggBoss #Bollywood #FakeNews #SalmanKhan #TVShow #RelationshipHack

A post shared by Rayon (@rayonmag) on Dec 21, 2017 at 6:29am PST

Chamatkar ho gaya!

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Who would have thought that #ShahidKapoor and #MiraKapoor's daughter Misha Kapoor would actually look like them? Fans and casual Instagram scrollers were shocked when they saw the #throwback photo posted by Mira Kapoor looked so much like her daughter. Miracles like these are the reasons why sun rises every morning. #Bollywood #CelebrityNews #BollywoodThrowback #FakeNews

A post shared by Rayon (@rayonmag) on Dec 21, 2017 at 2:28am PST

And now ladies and gentlemen, presenting my personal favourite ?

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#KareenaKapoorKhan is an inspiration for parents all over Jupiter. #KareenaKapoor #TaimurAliKhan #Quote #Inspiration #QuoteOfTheDay #CelebrityKids #Unicorns #Bollywood

A post shared by Rayon (@rayonmag) on Dec 26, 2017 at 5:56am PST

Cool stuff eh?

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