In three long years of being a mom, I have often felt a certain way about my stay-at-home status. I have felt like I am taking undue advantage of my privileges. I have felt worse about allowing my shining degree to lie hidden away in a drawer. I have doubted my ability to multitask. I have entertained the thought that my brain might just rust because I am not putting it to any good use.
Are comments made by celebrities, articles in leading newspapers and magazines, and social media trolls on stay at home moms the reason my mind diverts towards these thoughts? Maybe, maybe not.
The little girl in me became a woman the day she learnt she was going to be a mom. No one apart from a mother can comprehend the joy, happiness, experiences, strength, depth and the guilt that comes with motherhood. So we should be one tribe that understands each other like no one else. But is sisterhood within motherhood a reality?
Why does it have to be a situation where one choice is better than the other? Sadly, a woman is judged so often and so critically for the choices she makes that she lashes out at the slightest opportunity. One day we speak of unifying as a tribe, glorifying womanhood, and the very next day we are out there, being judgmental, lashing out, criticising and being a part of virtual fights.
The fundamental point here is no matter what choices we make, we as mothers in general (not as specifically working mom or stay-at-home moms) want to do the best for our kids without compromising on our true selves. We do not need validation, we do not have to be defensive, or even give an explanation for our choices. We choose what is right for us and our families.
I believe that there a certain way “The Mom Of Today” has to be, and that is to be exactly what you want to be. It’s your choice and no one else’s. Being myself, being able to voice an opinion and choose my own path, being empathetic, non-judgemental and able to understand that there are choices different from mine that exist and are valid—that’s what it’s all about.
Don’t you think?
A fellow mommy, Jasmeet.