24 Women Share Who They Feel Should Pay On A Date

Pooja Maheshwary , 30 Jul 2019

Dating can be tricky enough without wondering who should pay on the date. Should the guy take care of the check, or should the girl pick up the tab? Should they take turns, or should they simply split it and go Dutch? We decided to reach out to the lovely ladies at Malini’s Girl Tribe to share their views on this ever-confusing topic, and they had varying opinions. Read on to find out what they had to say!

Always Go Dutch

1. Always split the bill! Makes things easier and uncomplicated.

2. According to me, the check should be split. That worked for my husband and I. We both worked equally hard, so why should his money be valued any less. Sometimes he would pay, and sometimes I would. Mostly we would just split it.

3. Always split the bills! We are independent enough, and it’s fairer to do that.

4. Dutch. Then there is no room for any obligation or awkwardness! 

5. Split always unless it’s a special occasion and one of you is treating the other.

Take Turns To Pick Up The Tab

6. So, I used to follow the one-bill-me-one-bill-him rule. My boyfriend and I also used to fix a budget, and try to stick to it, so it wouldn’t adversely affect our individual finances for the month. We found it was the easiest way to keep track and avoid any squabbles over money. Takeout was taken care of by the person whose house we were at, and the other person would bring the drinks…so pretty even there too!

7. Sometimes us, sometimes them. I feel that since we ask for equality, and expect them to help at home and in the kitchen and all, it’s only fair if we also help them with the finances, especially if our income is decent!

8. We take turns paying the bill. And my partner totally respects me for doing that as in the past he’d never experienced this kind of equality in a relationship. Neither had his friends, except the ones in the US. It’s not fair to expect men to pay all the time. If we believe in feminism and get offended over chauvinistic comments, then I believe that’s the fair thing to do. If you’re making decent money, go ahead and take on responsibilities. And if the man respects the fact that you’ve picked up the check, it’s not weird at all. In fact, on my first date, he picked up the tab at the restaurant. I offered to pay half, but he didn’t accept it. So, I paid for the movie, and told him that it’s on me…instead of merely offering the money (which he was finding a bit awkward, given the first-date scenario). Nothing weird about it at all. If it’s a relationship both of you are invested in, then it doesn’t matter after a point.

9. When you are close to someone, make it a habit of paying sometimes and letting him pay at other times.

Some Guys Probably Won’t Let You Pay

10. Even after I insist on splitting or paying the bill, the guys I meet don’t let me pay. Once though, my date travelled all the way from a different city, so I paid for lunch. I personally prefer going Dutch, or picking up the tab in turns.

11. My husband always wanted to pay, even though I offered to pay each time. I’d just back out gracefully most of the times.

12. When we started dating, I was earning twice as much as my boyfriend, so I usually paid for both of us without batting an eyelid, but it really bothered him! (Because he was raised with the ‘a gentleman always pays’ idea, and he felt like he wasn’t being a gentleman!) Then he got a promotion and a raise, after which he insisted on paying every time we went out. The first few times, I just let him do it without arguing because it made him very happy to be able to indulge/spoil me. Once the initial fun wore off, I insisted on splitting the tab every time we went out. Eventually, for convenience’s sake, we started paying in turns. If you’ve been dating for over a year (or whatever feels like ‘long enough’ to both of you), and you foresee a future together, you could open a joint account where you can put in an equal amount of money every month and use it to spend on shared expenses.

13. Dutch or alternate, it should never be just one person. But men usually don’t agree to the idea of women paying the bills. They mostly refuse the offer. Maybe you can buy him something he needs or get movie tickets without letting him know. The idea is to contribute equally. Because it’s not a men-driven world anymore.

It Feels Nice To Be Treated Sometimes

14. I always like to pay the bill. Sometimes, it feels nice to be treated though. If you are living in, or are married, you can pay from a joint account.

15. I have been paying my own bills for long, so I wouldn’t mind some chivalry, hehe.

16. On a first date, I usually go Dutch, though there have been times when I’ve paid for my date as well. And I have received a lot of flak from my girlfriends for doing so, as they feel I should let the guy pay—if not for me, at least for himself. While I’ve personally never thought twice about paying for both on a date, I really do appreciate it when a guy insists on paying for me!

It Totally Depends On Your Equation

17. It’s actually subject to change depending on you and your partner and the level of comfort and understanding you both share. As long as neither of you make a big deal of it in the end.

18. Dutch always, of course. But both the partners should be comfortable with the budget of the place. For example, if one partner is rich and the other is from a middle-class background, then it could become a budget issue. In such cases, decide on a place that’s easy on the pocket for both of you. But, if the partner who is more well-off decides on a 5-star property, better let them pay. So, at least money wouldn’t be a bone of contention in your relationship.

19. I believe it’s totally up to the two people involved. Today, women are working and earning money. They don’t mind sharing the bill. This has got nothing to do with feminism or gender bias. It’s chivalrous of a man to take care of the bill. In the past, men were the sole earners and had all the spending power. So, it was usually the guy who paid. If you aren’t in a committed relationship, you can choose to go Dutch. I feel this is better so that there is no ill feeling. You can enjoy, without any strings attached or any obligations.

Only One Person Paying Is Not Fair

20. He or she or dutch or anything is fine if one is in a comfortable with each other. But only one person paying all the time even after marriage, even if it’s convenient, is not cool. The same goes for when paying for plane tickets and vacations.

21. If you are not in a relationship, go Dutch. If you are in a relationship then the rules are more relaxed. But I wouldn’t let my partner pay all the time. And if you are married, then it’s irrelevant since money is spent from the same household.

If He Asks, He Pays. If I Ask, I Pay.

22. If he has asked me out, he pays the bill. If I have asked him out, I pay the bill. If in a relationship, I don’t calculate—sometimes he pays, sometimes I pay.

23. Dutch normally. But whenever my man plans a date, he pays, and when I plan a date, I pay. We never really keep a track as we pay whenever we feel like. If one of us is facing a shortage of money, we ask the other to pay, and even force each other to pay at times, haha! As long as just one person isn’t getting exploited, money shouldn’t matter.

It Doesn’t Really Matter

24. If it’s a one-off date, then go Dutch. If it’s a relationship, either partner could pick up the tab…it need not always be one person. I don’t mind paying thrice even if he’d pay twice. I guess in a happy relationship it just doesn’t really matter.

Who do you feel should pay on a date? We’d love to know your views. Please share with us in the comments below!

We often have conversations around relationships on Malini’s Girl Tribe. To be a part of them, join the tribe here.

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