How To: Deal With Unrealistic Expectations In Relationships

Dhruvi Modi , 24 Jan 2020

There are two words in all relationships that can lead to their downfall: unrealistic expectations. It is but human to expect your partner to give you as much as you give them or sometimes, more. However, there is a fine line between knowing what you deserve versus having preconceived notions of how your partner should behave. And I am here to tell you that having such unrealistic hopes of how your partner should act can lead you down a tricky alley.  This metaphorical chasm that is automatically formed, as a result, is a dangerous one. And falling into its pits is but natural if you hold on to these unrealistic expectations. While a healthy relationship requires hard work, effort and teamwork, it is important to share and communicate when your expectations don’t match up to your partner’s behaviour.

So, I asked the members of Malini’s Girl Tribe to share how they deal with unrealistic expectations in relationships and these women, as always, came to the rescue. Here are 7 ways that you can deal with these expectations in a relationship:

1. Practice Assertiveness

It’s important to understand what assertiveness is. Often it is mistaken as being a rebel but it’s not quite that. It is a dynamic way to create boundaries without hurting the other.

2. Communication Is Key

Communicate communicate, communicate. That is the only way. And even after that, if the expectations do not end, stop trying. Nothing good comes out of it. It is either you or them.

3. Define Your Limits

People will always have unrealistic expectations. It is you who has to define the limits. Be vocal and honest, people might feel upset, but in the end, they will understand.

4. Find A Middleground

First, remember that you aren’t perfect. Then, remember that others aren’t perfect. We all need a reality check once in a while. When you see unrealistic expectations, try to find a middle ground that’s real and talk about it. Draw a clear line on what you accept and what you don’t accept.

5. Don’t Expect At All

Firstly don’t have any expectations. When I have expectations in a relationship, it becomes more like a business deal. I know it is not easy because deep down you expect. When you don’t keep any expectations, automatically there is nothing realistic or non realistic about it. If things are done out of a need to fulfilling an expectation, there is no genuineness in the doing. It is not done out of care or love or understanding.

6. Honesty Is The Best Policy

Being honest, and having smaller conversations to ease in reality.

7. Give It Time

Usually sorts itself out over time. Let it be. People with unrealistic expectations will never be satisfied so there’s no point in beating yourself up about it. Eventually they will realize and make peace with their expectations or they will move on.

So, how do you deal with unrealistic expectations in relationships? Comment below!

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