5 Books That Will Help You Understand Your LGBTQIA+ Child & Become A Better Ally

Suruchi Patwary , 22 Jun 2020

Being queer-friendly may not necessarily mean that you understand the practicalities of being queer—and that’s totally fine. And if you have a child who identifies themselves under the LGBTQIA+ spectrum, there could be things you don’t understand. So, we’ve listed down 5 books that will help you become better equipped to support and understand your LGBTQIA+ kid. Scroll down to check them out.

1. This Is How It Always Is

Author: Laurie Frankel

An adult fiction, this one is a beautiful read—it was also Reese Witherspoon‘s October pick in 2018! An award-winning book, This is how it always is is a book that parents of transgender children will find solace in reading!

2. This Is A Book For Parents Of Gay Kids

Author: Dannielle Owens-Reid and Kristin Russo

This one’s a Q&A guide that addresses the most common scenarios you could be in like when your child is coming to you and further have better-equipped conversations with them.

3. Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out

Author: Susan Kuklin

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Imagine being a kid in a world where adults don't understand you, where your principal says, "YOU'RE A BOY! YOU'RE NOT A WOMAN! YOU'RE A BOY!" because you do not dress according to your assigned sex at birth.⁣ ⁣ Imagine having a child people did not approve of or being charged with abuse and neglect because your son wears girl clothes.⁣ ⁣ In two days, I read "Beyond Magenta: Transgender Teens Speak Out" by Susan Kuklin, a book about six transgender adults sharing their childhood experiences. ⁣ ⁣ This book has taught me that not all kids understand what it means to be male, female, or intersex. Kids can go through elementary school, assuming that all students have the same private parts because they are not familiar with the terms dick and vagina.⁣ ⁣ Although the "T" in LGBT stands for trans, that does not mean the gay community is automatically an ally to the trans community.⁣ ⁣ It is a privilege to be cisgender. Cisgender is when your gender identity matches the sex your doctor assigned you at birth. While we are saving up for a car, young adults who experience gender dysphoria have to save their cash for hormone therapy, sexual reassignment, and other types of surgeries.⁣ ⁣ "I think all people who are oppressed in one way or another should stand together ⁠— women, queer people, people of color, disabled people, whatever. All the special-interest groups, minority groups, have a much better chance of effecting change if we stick together (119)."

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In Beyond Magenta, you get to read about six transgender and nonbinary teenagers’ personal account of their stories, transition photos, interviews, and much more.

4. Raising The Transgender Child

Author: Michelle Angello and Ali Bowman

For all the parents with a transgender child, this one for you! This book addresses in detail all the emotions you as a parent may experience while raising your child and help you in communicating with your child’s caregivers, teachers as well as the family about your child’s identity change.

5. Becoming Nicole

Author: Amy Ellis Nutt

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BECOMING NICOLE by Amy Ellis Nutt. This is the book I wish I had when legally representing teen foster youth in Chicago, as it would have helped me to better understand the needs of my transgender clients. This book tells the story of identical twin boys, one who expressed from an extremely young age his (now her) belief that she is female. The book does a fantastic job of sharing this family's journey—mom trying to make sense of what her child was expressing with few resources available to her and dad reconciling his conservative/ex-military upbringing with his love for his child, alongside the struggles of the twins themselves. The author does a great job of weaving a discussion of biological research on the development of gender in vitro as well as the legal landscape and battle surrounding transgender individuals, all in the context of the very personal story of Nicole and her family. It is thoughtfully crafted and at its core, this book is a story of family courage and love. I was both touched and educated while reading it. #becomingnicole #amyellisnutt #bookrecommendations #transgenderyouth @nicoleamaines #nicolemaines

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Becoming Nicole is about a transgender woman who is also an actress, activist, identical twin. This book gives an in-depth account of her family’s fight in court for her right to use the bathroom at school and lots more.

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