Long-distance relationships can have their advantages—from having the choice to live where you want to having the whole place to yourself! Unfortunately, one of the downsides of a long-distance relationship is maintaining the semblance of a sex life when you’re away from your partner.
We knew the problem is exceptionally real during the current pandemic when a member of Malini’s Girl Tribe brought it up in a conversation on the group. So, we decided to get in touch with Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist Prachi S Vaish, to get her inputs on ways one can maintain the spark in a long-distance relationship.
That’s a very relevant question, especially during this pandemic when a lot of couples are staying apart. The first thing to remember is to accept that the protocol of a long-distance relationship (LDR) won’t be the same as a non-LDR, therefore we shouldn’t treat it as such. This is a fundamental error a lot of couples make when they attach the expectations of a non-LDR to an LDR and that leads to conflict. In a non-LDR, if there’s an emotional disconnect or misunderstanding, you have their body and facial cues (what we call non-verbal cues) to gather more information and sort it out. But in an LDR, most of the time, we are living inside our own heads and wondering what our partner is doing, if they are thinking about us, what if they find someone more exciting than us, etc. Now, the actual situation might be completely different but by the time we get to talk to our partner, we have already lived all the above scenarios in our heads. So, we end up talking from that point of view which reflects in our behaviour leading to more barriers for nothing!
Scroll down to read some tips Prachi shares on having an exciting sex life in a long-distance relationship!
Even if you’re feeling hot and frisky and he hasn’t responded with the same intensity, don’t assume things or worse, sulk. Ask him straight up in a playful way if it is not a good time and most likely he will tell you.
Don’t make your virtual dates about emotional stuff. If you’ve primed him for play, you might end up killing the mood if you bring up sentimental things. Set another date for romance if you want!
A long-distance sex life, like a non-LDR sex life, has to be ‘On’ all the time. Just like foreplay begins much before the bedroom, in the same way in an LDR, naughty texts, racy selfies, sexy gifs all play a huge role in keeping the senses tingling for both partners!
Explore apps like Tumblr to find a super hot collection of gifs and pics that you can send each other!
Do a striptease for each other on a video call. Ensure utmost safety, please!
When you go for a shower, send him a selfie of you wrapped in a towel; not a nude without your face. Tell him you’re thinking of him. What he can’t see will drive him crazy!
Ask him to masturbate for you on video or while you guys are on a voice call. Tell him you want to hear him cum (orgasm). Do the same for him. If you’re masturbating, record your voice as you orgasm. Send it to him. This is the biggest aphrodisiac!
Most of all, get out of the mindset that if you have to set time for it, it’s not natural. It is natural. It shows effort. It builds anticipation. Just let go and have fun!
Are you in a long-distance relationship? What has worked for you when it comes to maintaining your sex life? Please share it with us in the comments below!
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