Vaginal dryness during sex is more common than you’d imagine. More often than not, it’s because women are not sufficiently aroused due to lack of foreplay. In some cases, it’s linked to psychological reasons like stress.
Since we often have conversations on Malini’s Girl Tribe about sex, pleasure and sexuality, we invited Prachi S Vaish, Clinical Psychologist and Psychotherapist, to host an Ask Me Anything session for the Tribe. One of the questions that popped up during the session was:
I would like to know about pain and dryness during intercourse caused by stress and anxiety. I have a deep-rooted fear caused by past issues that do not directly impact me anymore but I can’t be fully responsive during sex and it has started bothering me now. Please help!
Here’s what Prachi had to say about it.
Sex is such an integral part of our romantic lives, and if for some reason there are barriers to enjoying it fully, it does feel restrictive. I’m sorry to hear that the past left some scars that sting even now. Although you do say that they do no impact you directly any more, let me try and present another perspective.
You see, trauma of any kind doesn’t just get locked up in our minds, it also gets stored in our bodies. Since the human mind is very powerful, as time goes by, it manages to put a film over everything and things fade. The mind also convinces the body to move forward. But the body has a mind of its own. It gives us tell-tale signs that it is still able to remember those times. It’s wonderful that you already recognise that the dryness (and therefore the pain) in your vagina is linked to stress and anxiety. That means you are indeed listening to your body. The ideal resolution for this situation will be to have a few sessions with a therapist and put the past to rest by healing and not burying it.
Prachi recommends women try these alternatives to enjoy sex without the fear of vaginal dryness.
1. Invest In A Good Lubricant
Durex has some good ones and you can buy them online. Use the lubricant in the foreplay stage and keep refreshing it every few minutes so that by the time penetration occurs, your skin is nicely lubed.
2. Set Aside Lots Of Time For Foreplay
Vaginal wetness is directly proportional to arousal and the more you engage in foreplay the more you’ll relax.
3. Practice Deep Breathing
Focus on relaxing the muscles in your body throughout the whole day. Pay special attention to the muscles in your shoulders, your jaw, your lower belly and your pelvic area. Keep bringing your focus to these muscles every hour or so and deliberately relax them. A therapist can teach you deeper relaxation techniques while practising them with you.
Did these tips help you? Please share it with us in the comments below!
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