Christmas is the time for unbridled joy, beautiful decorations, mulled wine and a lot of food. However, if these things give you festive sneers instead of festive cheers, chances are, you may be the Grinch. Many people don’t like Christmas, but very few genuinely loathe it, and if you can relate to these signs, you may be one of them.
Because after all, you’re a mean one, Mr Grinch.
1. You Hate Christmas As A Concept
Christmas is waste of time for you. The festive music, decorations, gifting, pine trees, Santa… you hate it all. You don’t get the hype around it because after all, it is literally just like any other festival. It baffles you why it exists and also why it goes on for an entire month.
2. You Find Christmas Decor Repulsive
Wreaths, tinsel, fairy lights, little Cherubs and other Christmas decor just put you off. You’ve even walked out of shops if they have festive decorations up! You’re a real Christmas Grinch if you have torn or taken down decorations around you.
3. You Wish Mariah Carey Stayed In Hibernation
All you want for Christmas is to not hear Mariah Carey (or Michael Bublé). They make your ears bleed, mind ache and body wrench in disgust. Hymns and carols repulse you as well. Why can’t December just be the month of silence and solitude? Why?
4. You’re Anti-Social
You are grateful for COVID-19 and the home quarantine that came with it. As a real Christmas Grinch would, you have loved every second of being stuck at home. In fact, you think social distancing should last forever! Pre-COVID-19, you always had to come up with excuses to get out of plans. (Excuses like, “I don’t want to” and “No”.) You love being home and alone.
5. You Stalk People Just To Ridicule Them
You stalk people on social media just to make fun of them and see how terrible they’re doing. Furthermore, a real Christmas Grinch uses a fake account to do it because having a real account would imply having to actually follow and interact with people, and that is just too much for you.
6. You’ve Muted Christmas-Loving People Online
Why can’t the just keep this festive cheer to themselves? Why are they spreading it like COVID-19?
7. You Like Telling Kids Santa Isn’t Real
Your favourite hobby is telling kids that Santa Claus isn’t real. He’s either a made-up fantasy or a fat bearded man in the mall. Either way, he doesn’t climb down chimneys to eat cookies and leave gifts. Seeing kids’ dreams shatter before you is an adrenaline rush nothing can ever equal.
8. You Loved Home Alone, But Not The Ending
Why did his mother have to come back? Why did he end up with his family? He should have just continued being home alone! Why did the Christmas spirit of togetherness have to ruin this great movie also? Terrible, just terrible.
9. Squidward Is Your Favourite Cartoon Character
Squidward‘s anti-social, practical, blunt, grumpy, rude, stubborn, egoistic, and narcissistic. Who wouldn’t love him? Growing up, you related to him the most. You watched hours of Spongebob Squarepants just for him.
10. You Have A RBF
Would you really be a Christmas Grinch without it?
11. Despite All Your Hate, You End Up Loving Christmas
You spend the entire year hating Christmas and the joy it brings. But on December 25th, you succumb to it… happily. You blast Mariah Carey, decorate a tree, lost your voice singing Christmas carols and laugh your evening away with your friends and family. The Christmas spirit wiggles its way into your cold, green heart and makes it warm.
There is no shame in being a Christmas Grinch because after all, every Christmas needs one.
Can you relate to any of these? Share it with us in the comments below!