Why Sex And The City Was The Ultimate Relationship & Friendship Guru

Mallika Jhaveri , 11 Jan 2021

Earlier today, I was aimlessly scrolling through Instagram, when I came upon a certain post uploaded by Sarah Jessica Parker. My eyes welled up, my heart felt warm and all of a sudden my outlook towards 2021 changed from disappointingly indifferent to optimistically cheerful. Sex And The City was back! Parker, along with co-stars, Cynthia Nixon and Kristin Davis confirmed the much awaited SATC sequel, And Just Like That! For most of us, Sex and the City was revolutionary, and we aren’t just talking about the witty and relatable one-liners. It was the ultimate relationship and friendship guru. Despite some of it’s unbelievable elements such as Carrie’s standard of living on a writer’s paycheck (seriously, HOW did she afford all her Manolos?), the show was laden with truths. Truths about love, friendship, careers, human nature and above all, being a woman.

6 Things Sex And The City Taught Us About Love And Friendship:

1. Learn To Love And Express Your Sexuality

Samantha Jones once said,

I’m a try-sexual. I’ll try anything once.

Sexuality was never black and white on SATC. Whether it was Samantha suddenly being in a relationship with a woman, Charlotte trying tantric sex on her boyfriend or Miranda experimenting with sexual kinks, the sexual dimension was fully explored in the show. It was empowering to watch these women do things that society never speaks about, let alone accepts. It encouraged women and even men, to ditch labels, stereotypes and stigmas that came with being sexually expressive. The show also shed some much needed light on the concept of promiscuity. They were never slut-shamed for it (except maybe in that one episode where Samantha sleeps with Charlotte‘s brother, but that got resolved at the end so it may not count). Samantha, one of the most sexually active and expressive characters is remembered not for her sexual encounters, but for her bad-ass, bold and feminist outlook on life, which further proves the to point!

2. Looks Are Not Everything

While all the four women did wear designer clothes and rocked perfect makeup, they still did not fit the “conventional” beauty standard at the time. To be honest, nor did some of the men. However, what really sold us on this was Charlotte’s love life. She finally found her Prince Charming, with the chiseled jawline, the fancy Central Park apartment, a rich legacy who gave her a fairy-tale wedding, but a terrible marriage. While it looked perfect on the outside, it was terrible within. Her second marriage was to a bald, chubby divorce lawyer who was not half as polished as her, yet their marriage was beautifully perfect in every single way. Her story arc taught us that looks aren’t everything, and that is something our social media obsessed, vain-fully materialistic world needs.

3. It’s Never Too Late To Say No

It doesn’t matter if you’re in the middle of your date, years into your relationship or even half way across the world in Paris, you can always say no. You can always get out of your relationship at any point. You shouldn’t stick around just because it’s convenient or because you’re scared to let go of it. Whether it was Carrie ending her engagement with Aiden (while we may never understand why she felt the need to do it, it’s important to note that she had the courage to do it) or her running away from her Parisian life with The Russian, she proved that if something doesn’t feel right, walk away from it.

4. Always Put Yourself First

Samantha was the epitome of this. Throughout the show and all her relationships, she always put herself first. She was her top priority, which is something us women need to embody. She never let anyone take advantage of her, no matter how vulnerable she was. When she broke up with Smith because she felt patronised by him and their relationship, it was empowering in every way. We all felt terrible for Smith, who was literally the perfect boyfriend, but Samantha did what she had to do. She put herself and her independence first.

5. Having Children Is A Choice, Not A Given

SATC showed us that it was okay if a “Happily Ever After” didn’t have children. It was okay to not get married and not want children. Simultaneously, it was okay to want a marriage and children as well! While Miranda and Charlotte had children, Carrie and Samantha chose not to, and all four of them ended up happy! Miranda’s decision to have a her baby was not easy, and while many thought she was hesitant because of her career, she was actually hesitant about how her company would treat her. She taught us that it is not mothers who are a “burden” to companies, but rather companies who refuse to treat those mothers respectfully that are a burden to themselves.

6. Your Friends See What You Don’t

The four of them were always each other’s voice of reason, especially when it came to relationships. They called each other out, no matter how harsh it was. But that’s exactly what friends are for. If you cannot trust your gut, trust your friend’s. The show reinvented the concept on soulmates by saying that it it’s not a romantic partner who is your soulmate, but your best friends who are, and that was the biggest truth bomb to come out of this show. Partners come and go, but your friends are forever.

Sex and The City was iconic in every single way. It was also empowering in every single way. What did you love about SATC? Share it with us in the comments below!

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