7 Things Women Do When No One Is Watching

Mallika Jhaveri , 04 May 2021
thing women no one is watching
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It’s fun to imagine what the world would be like if no one else existed. It’s scary, sure, but before it gets to the frightening part, it does seem fun. Having the world be only your oyster is an impossible, yet tempting thought, isn’t it? However, some of us can achieve a rather micro version of this by finding isolated me-time, away from everyone else. Whether it’s getting some time to yourself in your room, having a one-person “staycation” or finding that golden-hour when no one but you is at home, we can have the world just to ourselves. To know more, we asked the Girl Tribe by MissMalini what is the one thing they do when no one is watching and the responses were oh-so relatable!

7 Things Women Do When No One Is Watching

1. Eat an ugly, greasy meal shamelessly

Dining with manners is overrated… to an extent. But if you think about it, dining etiquette is more for others than it is for you. But when no one is watching, table manners can take a hike. Eating a greasy, saucy meal with your hands and attacking your food like neanderthals is a thrill unlike any other. Chewing loudly, burping in-between, wiping your gravy-coated hands on your clothes, spilling everywhere and being a total mess is so much fun! We’re all messy-eaters on the inside, and when no one is watching, it’s fun to be on one the outside too.

2. Dance like a maniac

If no was was watching, we would dance the way Phoebe from F.R.I.E.N.D.S runs. In clubs (remember those?) we have to dance with a little poise and even a lil’ sex-appeal (amirite, ladies?), bur IRL, we all want to let loose completely. Flair our arms about, do the floor-snake, maybe even throw in some Ranveer Singh signature steps and just let our bodies to their thing.

3. Fart in peace

This. THIS. No matter how much we normalise it, the concept of women farting loudly always seems to bother someone or the other, and in most cases that someone is you yourself. It’s the one thing we love to do. When no one is watching, women like to let it out with no shame, no judgement and no inhibitions.

4. Be utterly disgusting

The thing we like to do most when no one is watching is be utterly disgusting. Digging our nose, breaking wind, not washing our hands, openly burping and all the other gross things that men can do in public. It’s not a pretty sight, but sometimes, it really is just what we women need.

5. Roam around naked

Roaming around in your birthday suit is a freedom like no other. It makes us feel liberated, helps accept and love our bodies and puts us at ease… so much ease. It helps us break free from our bra-bolstered and shapewear-soldered cages, and we love it! It is the best thing to do when no one is watching.

6. Masturbate… a lot

Do we even need to explain this?

7. Practice my Oscars acceptance speech

We strongly believe that this helps with creative visualisation, ambition and helps put us on a path to success. By imagining ourselves in studded designed gowns with an Oscar in one hand and arm-candy in another (yes, Harry Styles, we’re talking about you) we strive to make it a reality. If not in the film industry, in other avenues of life. Plus, it’s so much fun!

What do you do when no one is watching? Share it with us in the comments below!

Join the conversation on the Girl Tribe by MissMalini now!

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