As women, we get asked a lot of questions. Some are well thought out and smart, while most are silly and irritating. Unfortunately, the latter are the ones that get asked the most. If you’re a woman reading this, you know exactly which questions we are talking about. We had a discussion about this on the Girl Tribe by MissMalini and women sent in what they hate being asked, whether it was related to their relationships, their body or even their personality. The responses were overwhelming and oh-so relatable. Here are some of them and we guarantee you would have heard them (if not every month) at least once in your life.
Body-shaming and Indian aunties go together like pepperoni and pizza. When you put on weight, no matter how much it is, you will be asked when you’re planning to lose it. It’s as if we can’t even enjoy having a food-baby! Putting on weight, bloating, having unhealthy indulgences and letting go once in a while is human! Not everyone can have or wants to have a “slim-n-trim” figure (whatever that even means).
It’s no surprise that women on the other end of the weight spectrum get shamed too. Being too skinny and overly thin are crimes for women as well. They’re always asked when they’ll put on some weight, if their parents starve them or if they want to get into modelling. Whatever the reason, no one should be asked about their body! Their weight is their choice.
Ah, the age-old crime of the century is the question about marriage. Single women are truly sick and tired of hearing it. We’re in 2021 and it is clear that marriage does not need to be an end-goal unless the person in question wants it to be! Asking about marriage is extremely personal, somewhat insinuating and can even be inappropriate.
Another annoying question us women always get asked, especially if we’re married is when we plan to have children. And if you think it stops after having one, think again. The questions about the second or third or fourth child will commence. Having children is a personal and private matter and should not be prodded at constantly. Whether the woman is in her 20’s or 30’s or 40’s, it is still not acceptable to ask. Unless you’re planning to be be financially, emotionally and physically involved in the coming baby’s life, it’s best not to ask about them.
Do we even need to explain this? Crop-tops, the slightest form-fitting clothes, low-cut blouses, visible bra straps, exposed legs and basically any clothing that doesn’t fit into old “moral” standards are questioned by society. By asking someone if they are comfortable with their clothing choices, one not only implies they’re indecently dressed but also hurts their feelings. It’s just not okay! Women should be allowed to wear whatever they want without being judged or shamed.
Many women going through a divorce or separation are often told to “work it out” and asked why they can’t just get over it. It’s annoying. Speaking from personal experience, a relative of mine decided to end her marriage after nearly 50 years, and despite her seniority, she was still asked why she couldn’t solve the issue quietly and stay in her marriage. Ending a marriage is a deeply personal choice and does not need to be questioned if the woman ending it is okay with her decision. When a woman decides to call it quits, trust us when we say that she has most definitely thought it all the way through and does not need to be second-guessed.
It’s as if women aren’t independent enough to make decisions without involving their family. I remember when I decided to pursue journalism, I was asked by some random relative if my parents not only knew about my decision but also if they were accepting of it. I was deeply insulted because apart from there being nothing wrong with wanting to study journalism, it was assumed that I wasn’t independent enough to make my own career choice. And for most women, this question isn’t just limited to career choices, but also those involving education, relationships, marriage, finance, parenthood and more. It’s very frustrating indeed.
What are some questions you are sick and tired of hearing? Share it with us in the comments below!
Join the Girl Tribe by MissMalini App to be a part of more such conversations!